


I Don't Know; We're Making This Up as We Go

by Thorny



Series: Ineffable Plans and How to Stick it to Your Bosses... [2]
Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: (only in mention - no graphic flashbacks), Adopted Children, Background Crowley/Aziraphale, Don’t actually give birds alcohol, Geese being Assholes, Gen, I am not Irish so please forgive the filler characters and speech patterns, M/M, Obligatory Holiday Chapters, Past Child Abuse, Past Underage Sex, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Scars, Therapy, incompetent demon
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2020-09-12
Packaged: 2021-02-25 02:41:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 30,892
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22008640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Thorny/pseuds/Thorny
Summary: After the ineffable husbands and a bonus unlucky demon made a harrowing escape from a doomsday cult, the incompetent incubus named Faust was coerced into adopting the two children they rescued on the way.These are the shenanigans of two traumatized kids, an unfit caretaker demon, an ornery alcoholic crow, and four absolutely awful geese.  Oh, and of course, Crowley and Aziraphale will be checking in on their little pet project from time to time...
Series: Ineffable Plans and How to Stick it to Your Bosses... [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1564594
Comments: 77
Kudos: 39





	1. Introductions

**Author's Note:**

> This is a continuation of '[Cults; Why Does it Always Have to be Cults?](https://archiveofourown.org/works/21245630)' and will be more... episodic in nature and follow mostly the OCs from that fic. I will *try* to have regular updates, but as there wasn't really a clear plot in mind when I decided to continue this, I'm just writing as situations come to me! 
> 
> So, I'll apologize up front for long breaks between chapters. 
> 
> Also, this fic will contain a lot of references (both humorous and serious) to trauma experienced by the two kids. I chose not to put the official "Underage" Archive Warning because I didn't believe mentions and references warranted it. If I am mistaken, and people feel I need to change it, please let me know in the comments and I will.
> 
> -Took a stab at an attempt to draw Faust (using 10yrsy's style - mild tracing, will admit, I'm very rusty on my people drawing...);
> 
> Anyway - onward and enjoy!

It was during a lovely mid afternoon day in old County Cork, Ireland that the taxi pulled up to the curb of a decently sized 2-story duplex located in southern Glanmire. The leftmost home had creeper vine covering most of the front and a single, large knotted old hawthorne tree dominating the modest strip of lawn. The home on the right appeared dark and empty and a bit sullen about that fact.

Two young children around pre-teen age, a ginger-haired boy and a brown-haired girl, piled out of the taxi. The girl was wearing a slightly oversized Velvet Underground t-shirt and jeans. The boy wore a black leather biker jacket that didn’t seem to fit.  
They were closely followed by a scruffy dark haired man of average height, wearing the same, if larger, jacket as the young boy. He murmured something to the taxi driver before giving a little mock salute, sending the car on its way.

The older cabman would have thought the man’s nearly glowing green eyes and blacked-out sclera were very unsettling, however he had completely forgotten about him or the children as soon as he rounded the next corner. He shrugged, shook his head to clear the odd foggy thoughts, and plugged into dispatch for his next fare. His meter was glitching again; he’d need to ask Sherry to look at the old thing.

“This is your place?” The girl, Aelisea, asked as she tried to peer into the vine-covered bay window. Her ginger companion, Kellord, folded his hands behind his back, sporting a slight smile as he surveyed the front of the unassuming duplex. His eye fell on a little ring of small white mushrooms hidden in the shade of the tree. Neither had last names they cared to recall.  
“Yeah, you gonna drag me for it?” Faust, an actual demon of Hell, grumbled as he scratched at his goatee with dark-colored nails.  
“It doesn’t feel very demony,” she snidely added.  
The demon snorted before he sidled up to the front door and flicked his fingers at the lock. The door dutifully popped open with a click. However, just as the demon pushed it open, a furious caw interrupted him.  
“Oh…. shit,” Faust managed before a bolt of mottled feathers attacked him. The children lept back and stared as the demon futilely fended off a large pale grey and black crow as it pecked and clawed and flapped madly.  
“Ow! Fuck - George, com’on! Ow - ghk - AH!”  
“Should we..?” Aelisea shot a glance at Kellord. The boy offered a helpless shrug. The girl rolled her eyes and yanked off Kellord’s jacket. She flapped the garment around Faust’s flailing until the crow got irritated enough to fly up into the hawthorne.  
“Arsehole!” The demon growled up at the crow. The bird shot back an angry caw. Aelisea snorted.  
“Not terribly happy with you, is he?” Kellord smirked.  
“No he isn’t,” the demon whipped around to face the tree and added, “I was _kidnapped_ you daft feathery bastard!”  
A questioning caw responded.  
“Yeah! Wasn’t fun, neither!” Faust snapped back, crossing his arms over his chest. The crow hopped down to a lower branch and tilted its head at the demon with a little chirrup.  
“ _Now_ you ask if I’m fine? Sure, yeah, no thanks to you!”  
A distinctly indignant caw responded. Faust snorted back, showing a bit of unnaturally sharp teeth in a snarl. The kids shared an exasperated look.

Eventually, the hooded crow conceded the little staring contest before it hopped down to land on a glaring Faust’s shoulder.  
“You done?”  
A softer, but no less annoyed caw. The demon rolled his creepy eyes.  
“Fantastic. Now that you’re done being a dramatic arse - George, this is Aelisea and Kellord,” he helpfully pointed to each child in turn, “and they’re gonna be living with us for a while.”  
A cautious chirrup.  
“Hello,” Kellord offered a pleasant smile while Aelisea crossed her arms loosely with a raised brow. The crow ducked its head and hopped across Faust’s shoulder to the opposite side, watching the two kids with a dark beady eye.  
“Don’t be a jerk,” the demon warned. He got an indignant caw in return.  
“Excuse you? How dare I assume you, the grumpiest bird I know, would be an absolute bellend?”  
The crow somehow huffed and looked like it was glaring at Faust. The demon smirked back like he won an argument. He glanced down at the kids and abruptly remembered they were still all standing on the step while he argued with a crow.  
“Er, right, inside?” Faust sheepishly gestured the children inside the door.

The house was practically spartan in both style and decor; obviously original beige painted walls, some vaguely floral wallpaper in the bathrooms, and the minimalist amount of furniture - all predictably black leather or dark woods. Faust conducted the briefest of tours for the first floor while the crow rode his shoulder.  
“Nothing’s technically off-limits, knock yourselves out. Tellie’s in the den. Loo’s on the left. Whatever’s in the fridge is fair game, ‘cept the frozen peas,” the demon rattled off as he gestured. Aelisea shared a look with Kellord as Faust continued while pointing to a cabinet with a glass door that had multiple colored bottles within.  
“George’s ‘snacks’ are in the cabinet here - don’t go sneakin’ any for yourselves just yet, there’s plenty of time after 18 to experiment without racking up a sin.”  
“Really? It's a sin to drink underage?” Aelisea asked incredulously. Faust chuckled as he shrugged the crow off onto the dark granite kitchen counter.  
“It’s a sin to not obey the law of the land. Legal drinking age in Ireland is 18, so ergo…”  
“But - and again - I can’t stress this enough, shouldn’t you _want_ us to commit sins?”  
“Not if I want to keep my bloody head attached to my corporation, I don’t. That angel might look cuddly, but he’s got a mean streak for demons that aren’t his Crowley,” Faust shuddered.

Approximately 700 km away, in a particular bookshop in Soho, Aziraphale sneezed into his handkerchief.

Faust pulled a bottle of a deep amber liquid and a shot glass from some cheap souvenir shop out of said cabinet. The crow excitedly cawwed and hopped around with its wings outstretched as the demon measured a pour before it dove for the shot of whiskey. Faust jerked his fingers back just in time.  
“Would it kill you to have a little patience?” He muttered, rolling his eyes. Kellord shared a smirk with his female cohort. Aelisea huffed.  
“So the bird can have it? There’s no law or… sin against that?”  
“That bird is older than both of you combined, and a real pain in my arse if I _don’t_ give it to him. If his earlier little temper tantrum didn’t give that away…”  
Aelisea immediately smacked Kellord’s arm before he could even part his lips to ask how a crow was past 20 years of age, giving him a glare. The boy merely tentatively smiled and tucked his hands behind his back. 

“Anyway, now that the brat’s appeased, we should tackle your room!” The demon grinned.  
“Our room?” The girl blinked. Kellord tilted his head. Faust backtracked with a worried look.  
“Uh - Unless you’d rather separate rooms? I can do that, won’t take me but a moment - ” he was halfway to lifting his hand to snap his fingers when Aelisea and Kellord both interrupted with frantic shakes of their heads.  
“No - it’s - we’d rather - together, that is - ”  
“Really, we’d _prefer_ to stay in the same room - ”  
Faust felt his demony heart melt as the two kids edged closer to each other subconsciously along with their protests. He held up both hands in surrender.  
“Yeah, no worries, whatever you two want. I’m easy.”  
“Are you now?” Kellord murmured, just under his breath. Aelisea shot the boy a death glare even as Faust covered his shock with a cough. 

The demon herded the children up the stairs to the second story, not bothering to acknowledge the ginger kid’s quip for now.  
“Room on the right’s yours,” he directed once they reached the top landing, “I can change almost anything ‘bout it if you both don’t like it, I just kind of… whipped something up on the way here.”  
Aelisea pushed open the door and stopped in the doorway, staring at the modest room. Kellord gently brushed past the shell-shocked girl and glanced around curiously. It was decently sized; space enough for a set of bunk beds, a kid-sized desk, a chest-of-drawers, a small reading nook whose shelves were currently empty, a closet also currently bare, and a large window letting in filtered sunlight through shear, plain curtains. It looked a lot like Faust had copied some furniture advertiser’s idea of a kid’s room.  
The boy turned back around to face the fidgeting demon with a raised brow and a slight smile.  
“It’s certainly roomy,” Kellord acknowledged. Aelisea shook herself out of her shock as the boy spoke.  
“That’s the understatement of the century, Kel, this place is huge!” Her lips split into the first real grin in years. Faust blinked incredulously.  
“Huge?” He managed, questioning.  
“You saw the accommodations the cultists so kindly graced us with,” Kellord snorted, gesturing vaguely.  
“Well, yeah, sure, but - what about… before that?”  
The boy merely shook his head and smiled with a crooked little look. The demon chewed on his lip fretfully. Thankfully, Aelisea broke the uncomfortable silence as she leapt onto the lower bunk bed with a flop and a giggle. The bed gave a token squeak of protest.  
“This is _awesome!”_ She clutched at the soft, generic printed sheets. Kellord let out an amused chuckle and joined her - granted, a bit more primly as he settled on the edge of the mattress. Faust couldn’t help the little smirk on his face at their happiness. Sappy demon.  
“This is really all ours?”  
“Course. What, you thought I was gonna make you sleep on the couch?” The demon joked, waving his hand dismissively. Aelisea and Kellord shared an odd look before she shrugged and the boy only smiled.  
“Err - anyways, I’ll let you two get settled. I’ll be back in 15 with some real food - pretty sure there isn’t enough of anything decent for two growing humans here…” Faust rubbed the back of his head with a chuckle, “Any requests for supper?”  
Aelisea snorted, sitting up. “I wanna say burgers and some greasy fries, but my stomach says soup and toast.”  
Kellord nodded in agreement before adding, “And ginger ale.”  
“Ooh, yeah, ginger ale… Haven’t had any of that for a long time.”  
“Will warn you, won’t be nearly as fancy as the Ritz,” Faust chuckled with a nod, “And if you smell smoke or hear cursing from the kitchen… I probably have it under control.”  
“Noted,” Kellord smirked.

As soon as the demon padded down the stairs and safely out of earshot, Aelisea grabbed Kellord by his shirt and glared at him. The boy seemed unsurprised.  
“Could you not fuck this up, Kel?” She hissed in his face. Kellord simply quirked a brow. Aelisea grumbled and released him, but crossed her arms over her chest defiantly.  
“You were the one who wasn’t sure about this arrangement,” He calmly pointed out, straightening the fabric.  
“Yeah, well, we’re here now, and I like this place, so stop doing your weird thing.”  
“My ‘weird thing’ has kept us both _alive,_ ” the boy countered easily, pushing himself up off the bed to inspect the nearby desk. Aelisea huffed, unable to think of a decent comeback. She settled on glaring at the other. Kellord took it in stride - as if this was a common argument they had - as he rifled through the drawers. Finding nothing of note, he slid over to the reading nook and collapsed into the soft, cushy seat.  
“And we both know that everyone has something they want,” he continued after a moment, turning a sympathetic smile on his counterpart, “Sooner or later, they always ask for compensation.”  
Aelisea rolled her eyes, “That doesn’t mean this one will, he’s doing a solid for those two wierdos back in London.”  
“Oh, Aelis,” Kellord chuckled darkly, running a hand through his messy ginger hair, “Don’t worry, when it happens, I’ll take care of it. I always have.”  
“Ugh,” she huffed, grumbling under her breath some not very nice things before she let out a loud sigh. The boy grinned devilishly.  
“And he’s not too hard on the eyes, truth be told - ” Aelisea cut him off as she chucked a pillow at him.  
“Don’t even start,” She muttered before sitting up fully. “So, top or bottom?”  
“Aelis, you _just_ told me not to start - ”  
“Of the _beds!_ God _damnit,_ Kel!” Aelisea gripped her hair with a muffled scream, grateful the demon had left to get food, “Why are you like this…”  
Kellord looked entirely unapologetic.  
“Whichever one you don’t prefer,” the boy finally answered after a beat.  
“I want the bottom one, then.”

The two of them spent the rest of the time Faust was gone exploring the entire room. Still as spartan as the rest of the house, but they both chalked that up to the demon not knowing what kind of clothes and such they wanted. Shortly after they exhausted their curiosity, the demon had returned, and the two could hear the muffled sounds of puttering about in the kitchen.  
“Wonder what the demon’s room looks like?” Aelisea abruptly asked. Kellord quirked a brow.  
“He did say nothing was technically off limits,” the boy added, smirking. They both bolted to the hall and down to the second door down. Aelisea cracked it open and paused.  
“Oh, bathroom.”  
“Well, at least we won’t have to go downstairs in the middle of the night, hm?”  
Aelisea rolled her eyes and pushed the door the rest of the way open. The bathroom was once again filled with every homestyle magazine’s idea of a well-furnished water closet. Toilet properly sectioned off from the rest with its own little door. Modern style bath with a matching shower install. Twin sinks with a large, wall-spanning mirror over the joined counter. White hand towels and larger towels stored primly inside a little linen closet. Kellord let out a little whistle.  
“Practically homey,” he teased. Aelisea rolled her eyes and turned around in the hallway. There was a third door she hadn’t noticed near the end of the short corridor and she smirked before pointing it out to her companion.  
“There we go.”  
“If he even sleeps,” Kellord murmured, offering a shrug.  
“One way to find out.”  
“Mn,” the boy agreed, smirking. They both carefully pushed open the third door. Finally, a room that matched the occupant of the house. The walls were painted a warm dark grey, the single window was blacked out with thick curtains, and a massive four-poster bed dominated the center. Kellord raised a brow and chuckled.  
“Really, red sheets? Dramatic much?”  
“What’s that for?” Aelisea pointed to a pile of dark fabric cushions and pillows in the corner. It looked intentional. The boy tapped his chin for a moment before he snorted.  
“I’d put money on that being for the ‘girls’ he keeps referring to.”  
Aelisea looked a little dubious. “Do geese sleep on pillows?”

“Nah, they’re not usually allowed in the house.”

The two kids whipped around, both sporting sheepish looks as they spotted Faust leaning casually in the open doorway. The demon chuckled and shook his head.  
“Snoopin’ about?” He teased, waving his hand toward the stairs, “Well, food’s ready, so stick a tack in your exploration, eh?”  
The children made vague, noncommittal sounds as they slunk out of the demon’s bedroom and ducked down the stairs ahead of Faust.  
“He didn’t _seem_ mad,” Aelisea hissed under her breath. Kellord helpfully shrugged before claiming a chair at the previously-not-present comfortably small kitchen table. She rolled her eyes and followed, blinking as she realized after sitting down that this had definitely not been here earlier. Before she had a chance to question it verbally, the crow landed on the table and let out a loud caw.  
“Oh hush, George, you got yours,” Faust grumbled, picking up and then depositing two bowls of piping hot obviously-from-canned chicken noodle soup in front of each kid, followed by a communal plate of buttered toast. The demon claimed a third chair for himself, spinning it around before straddling it and resting his arms across the back railing.  
“Aren’t you going to have any?” Kellord ventured, though he already had his spoon in hand. Faust shook his head.  
“Don’t need to,” he answered simply. Shooing George away from the toast with a grunt, “Butter isn’t good for you.”  
Aelisea was tempted to bring up the earlier alcohol argument, but the smell of food to her grumbling stomach made her drop it for now.

They tucked in and ate in relatively comfortable silence, only occasionally interrupted by George attempting to peck at the kids’ food and Faust grumbling until the crow quit for a few minutes. Kellord found the whole thing hilarious if the grin on his face was any indication. He even snuck George a bit of unbuttered crust when the demon turned his back for a moment.  
“Oh! Nearly forgot the other bit,” Faust apologized as he snapped his fingers. Both kids jumped as two chilled cans of fizzy ginger ale popped onto the table. Aelisea shot the human-shaped being a calculating look.  
“So, you can just,” She snapped her fingers, “and change shit?”  
“Language, and yes, for the most part,” the demon replied easily. Kellord tilted his head. George gave an annoyed caw when the emptied bowls and plate disappeared from the table with another snap and hopped off elsewhere.  
“How?” the boy murmured, half to himself and half genuinely curious. Faust pointed downwards with a secretive smile.  
“Well, we call them _demonic_ miracles, but really, in practice it’s the same thing angels can do. Mine aren’t as… I’m not a Fallen, so I can’t do quite the level of miracling as say, Crowley.”  
“Mn, yes, I do recall you mentioning not being the same rung of the hierarchy. Is that why you took us in? Because Mr. Crowley told you so?”  
The demon fidgeted a moment before responding. “Eh - er - I… may have told the angel you two would not do well in human custody. Given your - ah - touchy history.”  
The children shared a knowing look before they both broke into crooked smirks and shrugged.  
“And technically, you chose,” Faust gently pointed out, “It would’ve been awfully rude of me to say no.”  
“You aren’t wrong,” Aelisea laughed, “Kel would have found a way to follow you.”  
An alarmed look crossed the demon’s face before he schooled it with a cough. He waved a dismissive hand in the wake of two sets of young gazes and raised brows. Kellord flashed the demon a quick wink from over the rim of his soda can.  
“I rather like people who indulge my incessant questions.”  
“Knowledge is power,” Faust quoted, giving a shrug, “If I know the answer, you’ll have it.”  
“And if you don’t?”  
“Humans invented this beautiful thing called the Internet. If I don’t know, someone does. You kids don’t know the pain of rifling through poorly labeled books in dim lighting, and by Satan, if you want a computer, I’ll get you one.”  
Aelisea groaned and covered her face while Kellord’s was alight with a mischievous gleam. Faust furrowed his brow, but the girl held up a finger before the demon could ask.  
“You just offered the most information hungry person on this _planet_ access to the Internet. I hope you know what you’ve done, and may the Powers That Be have mercy on your soul.”  
Faust failed to see how that was a bad thing, however this child knew the less stable one quite a bit more than the demon did, even if he had shared the ginger kid’s headspace for a few hours. And the kid thought very, very loudly.  
“Eh, I’m a demon. My soul is inherently irredeemable.”  
“Speaking of that, no contract for _my_ soul? I thought people summoned your kind for knowledge and power all the time,” Kellord teased, smirking. Faust rolled his eyes and grunted.  
“Look, the whole contract thing is really demon to demon most of the time. The only contracts we draw up for humans are specifically to trap them in loopholes and shit; usually humans we’re already tormenting or tempting into sin. Summoning a demon is just a real quick way to piss us the hell off.”  
“Have you ever done any of those kinds of contracts?” Aelisea asked, taking a long sip of her drink. Faust paused.  
“Not… in so many words, no. I just cause general mayhem and mischief, and if a few humans get upset enough about it to commit a sin or two, my job’s done,” the demon eventually answered. The girl seemed to accept that response, finishing her drink in a few final gulps before setting the empty can down.

“Well, I don’t know about you, Kel,” Aelisea changed the subject with an exaggerated stretch, “Mr. Fell’s armchair was nice and all, but I’m looking forward to sleeping in a real bed tonight.”  
“Mhm,” the boy agreed.  
“Speaking of those, did you want me to change anything?” Faust gestured vaguely with a questioning look. Kellord and Aelisea glanced at each other. The demon held back a sigh as they had some sort of silent conversation once again.  
“Blankets,” The girl finally announced. Faust snorted.  
“Only blankets?”  
“And pajamas. For now,” Kellord added, nodding sagely.  
“Yeah, we’re too tired to think of more shi - stuff to make you magic up.”  
“Fair enough,” the demon chuckled, gesturing toward the stairs, “Well then, off to bed with you two.”  
The kids jointly pushed their chairs out and giggled as they bounded up the stairs. Faust followed with a shake of his head. He snapped his fingers just as the two children hit the landing and followed them into their room with a smirk. Aelisea grinned as she held up a second loose black t-shirt and some soft pj leggings. Kellord looked pleased at a pair of equally soft pj bottoms for himself. Two warm blankets sat folded at the foot of the bottom bunk bed as well.  
“I assume you already know where the lavat’ry is after your snooping, so I’ll be downstairs if you need anything,” Faust offered a little wave and let the two be as they readied for a well deserved restful evening. They both took full advantage of having free reign of a clean bathroom.

“Our beds,” Aelisea murmured with a big grin as she snuggled under clean sheets and blanket. Her hair was still damp from her first proper shower since she could recall. Kellord chuckled from the above bunk.  
“As much as they can be,” the boy retorted, though his tone was more wistful than bitter. The girl let out an annoyed sigh.  
“I still think you’re wrong, Kel. This’ll be different.”  
The boy glanced down at the myriad of marks covering his body, tracing one particular raised scar across his ribs with the tips of his fingers.  
“Mnh, we’ll see.”


	2. Margaret and the Girls

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faust gets a little advice on child rearing, for a price.

Faust dropped onto the couch in his den and let out a long sigh. George hopped up onto the back of the couch and loosed a soft, questioning caw.  
“Nah, it’s fine,” the demon responded, picking up the remote to turn on the modestly sized flat screen television mounted to the opposite wall. Despite not actually being hooked up properly to any cable box or even having a cable line to the duplex, a late night infomercial channel came on with the volume on low.  
“Kids’re in bed, I managed not to give them inedible food, actually conjured a working bath apparently,” Faust muttered on to the crow, barely paying the show much attention.  
“Gonna need to take them to get real clothes and proper food, probably shouldn’t keep snapping shit into existence all the time. Might catch the wrong sort of attention.”  
The crow offered a soft caw.  
“Yeah, yeah, but they’re growing young humans. I understand the _general_ needs, but Satan help me, I’m out of my depth beyond that. And calling on Them back in London is right out; I can’t admit defeat one day in!”  
A belligerent caw followed. The demon snorted.  
“And who the fuck else could I call, smartass?”  
An indignant caw followed up by a sharp nip to the demon’s ear. Faust jerked back with a hiss and scowled, but he seemed to be mulling over whatever the crow ‘said’.  
“I mean - you have a point, but how do I even explain myself? ‘Oh, well, I know I _look_ like your faefolk, and you’ve teased me about it before, but I swear I didn’t actually kidnap these kids’?”  
The crow gave a very human-like nod. Faust covered his face with a groan. George let out a series of caws that sounded an awful lot like laughing.  
“Was really hoping to have my shit together before they met her, but I need help,” He finally muttered into his hands. The demon fished his mobile out and checked the time. Good, not too late. He scrolled through the few contacts until he found the one he wanted. After a few rings, the other end picked up.  
“Er - yes, good evening, Margaret. I hope this isn’t a bad time...”

Kellord woke with a start and a sharp sound clogged in his throat. Fearful, darting glances slowly mellowed as he recalled the last day or so. This was Faust’s house. They weren’t in a hellhole deep underground in Arizona. He was in a bed. His Aelis was snoring softly in the bunk below him. Not in a cell. Not waiting with bated breath for the next horrific surprise…  
Kellord shook his head and dug the heels of his hands into his eyes with a soft groan. The boy slowly pulled his ‘self’ together, locking away the part of his mind that wanted to do nothing more than hyperventilate and sob into his pillow.

He was above that sort of childish reaction.

Kellord climbed down as quietly as he could and glanced at the small digital alarm clock on the desk. 8:17 am. The boy deemed that an acceptable waking time. He gave yesterday’s clothes a brief look before snagging just the long sleeved black t-shirt and slipping it on. Kellord didn’t much care if his scars were covered, however he had to answer far less questions if others couldn’t see them. He loosed a small smile as he recalled that the demon was intimately aware of exactly how many marks there were. He had asked in passing if they hurt while they were sharing his body.  
The boy cracked open the door and scanned the hallway. He could faintly hear someone moving about downstairs. Assuming it was the demon, Kellord padded down the stairs and slipped into the kitchen to spot the hooded crow absolutely demolishing a shot of whiskey.  
“Good morning, George,” the boy greeted pleasantly. The crow offered an answering caw before returning to its questionable drink. Kellord looked around curiously, not seeing Faust.  
“Where is our mutual caretaker, hm?”  
The crow cawwed again and jerked its beak toward the door leading to the back garden area he hadn’t seen yet. The boy took the hint and peeked out the window set in the backdoor.

Faust was holding a large mottled grey goose in his arms while another larger goose with the same coloring nipped and pecked at the hem of his leather jacket. He was telling off the bird nipping him while another pair of geese sat in the grass preening each other, uncaring of the fight erupting nearby.  
“There are plenty of peas for all four of you! Everyone else can share just fine, why do _you_ always have to snap at poor Mary?”  
Angry honks from the nipper. The demon rolled his eyes.  
“Still mad about that? Wasn’t that weeks ago?”

Kellord chuckled as he drew back from the window. The boy wandered back up the stairs to find Aelisea awake and rubbing her eyes.  
“Where’d you go?”  
“Just being nosy,” Kellord smirked, “apparently the girls are here.”  
Aelisea looked extremely confused for a moment before she huffed and rolled her eyes. “Oh, the geese.”  
The boy simply laughed softly at his own joke and hopped up onto the edge of the girl’s bunk with his hands folded in his lap.  
“So, how was sleeping on something other than a floor?”  
“Amazing,” She grinned, annoyance forgotten. Aelisea gave a long stretch and a groan, playfully nestling back into the comfortable bed and warm covers. Kellord chuckled and reached up to teasingly yank the covers off from over her head. 

Their playful teasing was interrupted by the backdoor opening and closing, and then Faust calling up the stairs.  
“You kids alive up there?”  
“Be right down!” Kellord responded, hopping up off Aelisea’s bed. The girl tossed her sheets aside and reluctantly left her nest to follow the boy into the kitchen. The demon offered the children a little wave and a smile. His eyes and teeth were getting less and less unnerving.  
“Morning, you both sleep well?”  
“Mhm.”  
“Yep!”  
“Good, good,” Faust’s smile widened as he nodded, “And how’s the food situation feeling today?”  
The two kids shared a glance and a shrug as they eased into the same seats they took the previous evening, shifting as the crow alighted from some hidden spot onto the table.  
“What’cha got?” Aelisea questioned, crossing her arms on the tabletop. Kellord reached out and after waiting for a negative reaction, gave the crow a little scritch under its beak.  
“Aah, well,” the demon turned around and accessed the kitchen, “Still have bread, butter, tomato soup, a little sliced cheese, uhh - ”  
The crow gave a soft caw and hopped closer to the ginger haired boy. Kellord obliged with a careful stroke down the bird’s back.  
“What, the girls don’t lay any eggs?” the boy teased. Faust paused, then snorted.  
“If you want scrambled eggs, I can do scrambled eggs,” the demon chuckled as he closed the current cabinet he’d been searching. Aelisea grinned. Faust gave a little finger beckon gesture as he made to open the back door. Both children hopped up and followed.

“Girls! Come ‘ere!”  
Loud and aggressive honking followed the four mottled grey geese as they emerged from a small reed-filled pond near the back of the low-fenced garden. All four surrounded the demon, honking and flapping about until the smallest one spotted the kids. Eight pairs of beady eyes flicked to the new faces in their garden. Kellord folded his hands behind his back and smiled gently. Aelisea stuffed her hands into the pockets of her pjs and offered her best friendly look.  
“Girls, this is Kellord and Aelisea. They’re - ah - staying with us. For awhile. Be nice,” the demon gestured toward the pair.  
The first goose to approach was the largest; the one Faust had been griping at earlier. She tilted her head at the two smaller humans before giving a curious honk.  
“This one is Tia. She’s a bit of a priss.”  
The goose honked again before she cautiously waddled up to the children. They both extended a hand at Faust’s prompting.  
“Hello, Tia.”  
“Hey - uh, bird.”  
She eyed them both before finally waddling close enough to allow the small humans to pet her. Seeing Tia getting attention prompted the two middle-sized geese to waddle over. Faust snorted.  
“Leah and Nora. Twins, you’ll almost always spot them together. Though, just so you know, Nora’s mute. Don’t know if she just never developed the honk or if she just doesn’t want to,” the demon introduced. Sure enough, only one of the approaching pair honked, the other waddled over with her head bowed and her beak firmly closed.  
The last continued to stay tucked behind Faust’s legs. The demon rolled his eyes and pointed to her.  
“And this one is Mary. Don’t let the shy act fool you, she’s a little thief and a terror. The worst of the bunch.”  
“Can’t be that bad,” Aelisea snorted as she gave both Leah and Nora careful strokes down their feathery necks with each hand. Kellord had knelt down to be eye level with Tia as he gave her little gentle scritches under her beak as he’d done for George earlier. She seemed to be enjoying it immensely.  
“Her favorite past time is stealing toys and treats from babies in prams.”  
“Oh, well then. That _is_ unforgivable,” the boy chuckled. Aelisea let out a long suffering sigh and leveled Kellord with a Look. The demon felt like that Look was leveled at her partner in crime often. Eventually, Mary slowly crept out from the safety of the incubus’ shadow and approached with feigned caution.

Once all four geese were summarily distracted, Faust slipped back toward the pond. He popped back a moment later with several eggs hidden behind his back. The kids caught the hint and gave a few last pets and scritches before bidding the geese good morning and then scurrying after the demon into the house.  
“Dastardly,” Kellord teased after they shut the door. Aelisea snorted.  
“If they’re all girls, then the eggs would just go to waste.”  
“True.”  
“And now that I think about it, geese eggs should be great for growing young humans,” Faust muttered as he snapped a skillet into existence. The children shared a laugh as they settled back at the table and curiously watched the demon cook. Kellord had half expected Faust to take the easy way and ‘miracle’ the whole affair done in seconds. Aelisea had to admit for a being that claimed to rarely eat, the demon wasn’t a half bad chef.  
“Here we are,” Faust dropped two steaming plates of golden yellow scrambled eggs in front of the pair a moment later. He chuckled as kids tucked in with quickly uttered thanks. 

“So, I imagine you two would like some real clothes? Maybe pick out your own food instead of me guessing what 12-year-olds eat?” The demon offered once plates were emptied and forks set down. Kellord glanced down at himself with a rueful look. Aelisea snorted and nodded.  
“If it's not too much trouble,” she added. Faust dismissively waved his hand.  
“You don’t stick around Earth for a few millennia and not pick up more human currency than you know what to do with. The hell else am I gonna spend it on?”  
“If you’re so rich, why live here?” Kellord cocked a brow, gesturing vaguely to the house. Not that there was anything wrong with the duplex, just that it didn’t fit with the boy’s idea of a demon’s peak aesthetic. Though, going by the three Celestial Beings they’d met so far, this might be par for the course.  
“I like it,” the demon shrugged. Both kids shared a glance, but kept the rest of their curiosity to themselves. Faust snapped their dishes away with a toothy grin and shoo’d the two upstairs.  
“Go on and get ready, we’ve got a lot to do before Margaret has my hide.”  
“The old lady? What’s she got to do with today?” Aelisea shot back, confused. The demon looked a little sheepish.  
“We-ell, I - uh - might’ve called her to ask about… tips. And now she’s really interested in meeting you both sooner than I’d’ve liked.”  
“Cat’s out of the bag,” Kellord teased as he padded up the stairs. Faust pulled a face and stuck his tongue out at the ginger haired boy. Kellord answered in kind. Aelisea rolled her eyes and muttered about boys.

Once decent, the rest of the morning was spent tooling around some nearby shops. Kellord found a great deal of amusement in the demon’s constant minor miracles to keep passerby and cashiers from noticing his eyes. It seemed to be a rote gesture at this point, which made the boy wonder just how many miracles one could go about performing. A stop for lunch had Faust explaining local cuisine over the American fare the two kids were used to before their captivity. It was easier once the demon figured out where the confusion was, and Aelisea found that she really liked coddled pork. She was even more thrilled to find out that the soda bread that came with it could be bought from the bakery just up the block.  
Kellord seemed pleased with whatever was put in front of him, even if Aelisea egged him to have an opinion. Faust chalked it up to the boy just wanting to be as unobtrusive as possible; even if he was a little bit of a shit, the demon suspected he was only openly so with him. For whatever reason. He wasn’t a human therapist though; Faust would just have to deal with the kid’s eccentricities as they came.  
Next, the demon showed them where the grocery was; not but another three blocks up and one over from the duplex, well within walking distance. They popped in and picked up a few things that Faust didn’t have to supervise the cooking of, mostly to give the two a little more freedom. 

They headed back to the duplex loaded down with sacks in the early afternoon. Aelisea chattered on about how wonderful it was going to be to have actual clothes while Kellord made agreeing hums. The demon’s step stuttered as he looked up and spotted an older woman with a round face and grey-streaked dark hair dressed in a soft cream cardigan patiently sitting on his porch stoop.  
“Oh! Aah, Margaret! You haven’t been waiting long, have you?”  
“Oh no, Harvey dearie, just beat you here by a minute or two,” She waved off his concern as she used the railing to hoist herself back to her feet. She adjusted her thin-rimmed glasses and settled her gaze on the two children standing awkwardly at Faust’s sides.  
“Harvey?” Aelisea whispered questioningly. Faust chuckled and rubbed the back of his head. The woman gave a knowing little smirk.  
“Why yes, he’s a pooka. Surely you haven’t missed his ghastly eyes and that rictus grin.”  
“Margaret, I’m pretty sure neither of the kids have seen that movie,” Faust coughed, hiding a toothy grin.  
“Interesting,” Kellord murmured to the girl. Aelisea narrowed her eyes.  
“What’s a pooka?”  
“It’s a big dog - rabbit - cat - thing,” the demon tried to explain, including vague hand gestures despite the several bags hanging off his limbs, “Fae. Plays tricks. Generally a little shite.”  
“Just like Harvey here,” Margaret helpfully added with a cheeky little smile. Aelisea scrunched her nose. Kellord offered her a gentle pat to the arm before glancing up at Faust.  
“Perhaps the ribbing could continue indoors? These are awfully heavy.”  
“Right, right,” the demon apologetically stepped around Margaret with a minor miracle and pushed open the door he didn’t bother unlocking. Really, that was unfair in Kellord’s opinion. Aelisea brushed past with a huff.  
“At this rate, I’m gonna start wondering if Santa was real all this time.”  
Really?” the boy asked with a mock raised brow, knowing he was going to get the girl’s hard glare.  
“No. Get in.”

After quickly putting away the things that needed to be in the fridge and leaving the rest in a heap on the kitchen table, Margaret gently herded the children into the den and onto the couch. Faust perched on the arm of said couch, crossing his arms loosely over his chest.  
“So, Harvey, I let you get away without explaining on the phone, and I’m glad to see you followed through getting these poor dearies settled. However, you told me you ‘picked up’ these two? You can’t just go about taking your namesake seriously after all these years, you know.”  
“Margaret, please,” the demon rolled his eyes and snorted.  
“He saved us,” Kellord politely interjected. Aelisea nodded.   
“Oh my,” the older woman clutched at her cardigan and glanced back to Faust. The demon let out a long sigh before he launched into a highly abridged version of the events a few days previous. He was careful not to go too far into detail concerning the other two occult beings, mainly because he didn’t want to admit he was half-coerced into this.

“Jesus, Mary and Joseph!” Margaret exclaimed once he finished. The kids both glanced at each other.  
“I mean, right religion I suppose,” Kellord murmured, smirking despite the elbow to the ribs. The older woman abruptly gathered them both up in a tight hug.  
“I’m so sorry! You’ve both been through so much!”  
“Ack!” Aelisea groused and gave a token struggle from the unwanted touching. Kellord barely hid a grimace as he stiffened. Faust let it go on a moment longer before he gently encouraged Margaret to release the uncomfortable children.  
“So, I took them in.”  
“That was kind of you, Harvey, but I hate to bring up the obvious. Papers? Documentation? I know you have your…” Margaret wriggled her fingers, “but that’s no substitute to properly adopting children.”  
Faust looked sheepish, glancing away. Aelisea and Kellord both looked a little amused, recalling the demonic miracles it took the demon to get them across the ferry from the UK without raising too many questions.  
“I can whip up something official looking in a pinch,” Faust muttered.  
“It’s not like we plan to run away,” Kellord calmly joked, smirking. Margaret turned a gentle smile on the boy.  
“Of course not, dearie, but what if you two want to attend school? Need to go to the doctor’s? Open bank accounts, get jobs?”  
“We’ll cross those bridges when we get there!” The demon interrupted, flustered. Aelisea snorted, smiling ruefully.  
“We’re a bit young to worry about half of those things, and school’s dumb from what I remember before I ran away from the orphanage.”  
Margaret bit her lip with a slightly affronted look, but didn’t press the child. The poor thing had been through so much.  
“I suppose you could look into homeschooling,” the older woman reluctantly pointed out. Faust looked confused.  
“Home School? I thought your lot did away with all that when school houses and marms became popular.”   
“Sometimes I forget how much you don’t know, Harvey, dearie,” Margaret teased, her crooked smile back despite the situation. She gave a brief explanation and encouraged the demon to look further into it if the kids were interested.  
“Sounds more fun than sitting around in cramped desks being told to shut up and fill out boring worksheets,” Aelisea grumbled.  
“Mr. Faust also already promised us a computer,” Kellord added with a nod and a little smirk. Margaret shot the demon a look at that and tutted.  
“They call you Mister, Harvey? That’s not very homely.”  
“They’ve been here 2 days and known me _maybe_ arguably 4, I’m not about to touch that line yet,” Faust held up his hands defensively. Kellord pursed his lips to hide a grin, gamely taking Aelisea’s preemptive smack to his arm. She knew _exactly_ what the ginger boy was thinking. Margaret glanced between the two with a raised brow. The demon was just as confused, but had grown used to the weird silent communication the children constantly had.  
“Anyway, if you’re done dragging me over the coals - tea?”

The rest of Margaret’s visit was a bit more small talk over tea with biscuits and less grilling the demon over his parental skills. Or lack thereof so far. The older woman left him with a few more tips and a light admonishing for letting the kids pick out their food, which Faust defended lamely.  
“Well, you didn’t lie. She was a delight,” Kellord murmured with a cheeky grin once Margaret had departed.  
“Yeah, _Harvey,_ a real take-charge lady. No wonder Mr. Fell and Mr. Crowley got to you so easily,” Aelisea teased. The demon dropped his head into his hands with a groan.  
“You two are awfully cruel to someone feeding and clothing you,” Faust muttered, muffled by his palms. Aelisea laughed while Kellord smirked and casually leaned up against the demon’s arm.  
“If you really hated it, you wouldn’t have taken us in,” the boy knowingly murmured, batting his eyelashes. Faust groaned again and playfully pushed the kid away. Kellord chuckled in return and propped his chin up on his raised hand. Aelisea snorted and shook her head.

“So, Harvey, what are we doing tomorrow?”

\-----

Aziraphale took another long pull from his wine glass as he sat primly in his favorite armchair, glancing over at his serpent-y companion draped across the couch in the backroom of the angel’s bookshop. He fretted quietly before finally voicing a concern he’d been mulling over all day.  
“How do you think they’re getting on over there?”  
“Ngk - who what now?” A drunk Crowley blinked sluggishly, nearly sloshing his own glass of red as he shifted. The demon gave the angel an exaggerated raised brow when his confusion was met with more silent fretting.  
“The children and that jittery young demon. Do you think they’re getting along all right?”  
“Angel, it's been _one day,_ ” Crowley groaned theatrically as he draped an arm over his face, “Have a little faith.”  
Aziraphale huffed at the quip, frowning slightly. “Forgive me for being on the side of caution with this little pet project, you wily serpent.”  
“This was _your_ idea,” Crowley pointed out before draining his glass, “ _You_ wanted to see if others could be taught to look after humans all proper like.”  
“Well, yes, but,” The angel protested even as he raised the bottle to refill the demon’s glass, “My plan is far from ineffable and I believe I am entitled to worry over the outcome.”  
“Ech,” Crowley shot back, shaking his head. The snake-eyed demon kicked a leg up to shift into a slouched sitting position.  
“They’ll be _fiiine,_ angel. We managed with young Master Warlock, and Fausty gets to start with older, practically self-sufficient humans! He’s got this on easy street.”  
“Oh, I do hope you’re right, dearest.”  
“Course I am. Now, quit frettin’ and get drinkin’. ‘M a whole bottle ahead of you!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Getting all the introductions out of the way and leaving y'all with a nice little cut away to the ineffable couple back in Soho...
> 
> Thank you for reading and hop you're enjoying this romp! Also, I live for comments <3


	3. Demand for a Job

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faust gets an unexpected call and the Girls finally get to have some fun.

The next whole week passed with relatively little issue. The kids settled in and not-so-secretly enjoyed having more freedoms living with a demon in a suburb in Ireland than they’d had most of their short lives. Aelisea thoroughly enjoyed egging the geese into riots over their breakfast, laughing as she was chased all over the back garden. Kellord took over the desk in their room the moment Faust obtained a computer; somehow it worked perfectly without a connection to the internet, and by this point the boy almost didn’t question the magic or miracles behind that. Things just worked differently in the duplex. Even Faust couldn’t explain.  
“It just… does what it should?” the demon sheepishly shrugged.  
“It does what _you_ assume it should,” Kellord corrected, pointing to the tellie as Aelisea flipped channels without a cable box in sight. Faust gave another weak shrug.  
“Look, most of us don’t understand - or care to understand - how human stuff actually… works. We’ve been around since before electricity, before indoor plumbing. I know coworkers who _still_ don’t get anything beyond candles, kiddo.”  
“Fascinating.”  
“Quit grilling the demon, Kel,” Aelisea grumbled from the couch, passing a piece of popcorn to George. The crow greedily snapped it up. The boy simply folded his hands behind his back and offered Faust a somewhat apologetic look.

Abruptly, George let out a warning caw just as the cartoon Aelisea had settled on shimmered oddly for a second. Faust’s eyes widened.  
“Shit! Quick, hide!” He barked, startling both children, but they scrambled to do as told, spilling the bowl of popcorn. Just as they disappeared behind the back of the couch, the cartoon shifted again and the loopy duck character morphed into an unhappy, sour-faced man-shaped being with sunken cheeks and a bad comb-over barely covering a mottled scalp.  
“Boss!” Faust nearly squeaked, coughing to cover his shock. The man-shaped being’s hollowed red eyes snapped over to look the demon up and down.  
“Your report’s late!” He snapped. Faust cringed.  
“Aah - heh - f-fancy that, sir. It must have just slipped my mind, is all.”  
“Well, _un-_ slip it, Faust. Head Office ain’t happy with shoddy field work after The-Event-Which-Won’t-Be-Named an’ you know what happens if Head Office gets too unhappy.”  
Faust swallowed thickly and nodded.  
“Good. Get it done. And, Faust, what fresh angelic crap are you even watching?”  
“Just - uuh - er - research! For - uh, what human kids are into, you know, to - erm - encourage the sin of Sloth?” the incubus stammered out, slapping on a forced evil grin. The demon in the cartoon rolled his eyes.  
“Uh huh. You shouldn’t indulge your avian lackeys, Faust. They’re tools, not pets.”  
Faust’s grin fell. “Yes, sir.”  
The cartoon snapped in an unnatural fashion as the red-eyed demon fizzled out before the program resumed as if nothing had happened. The green-eyed demon let out a low groan and collapsed back onto the couch. He snapped away the mess with an absent, tired gesture.

“What the _hell_ was that?” Aelisea hissed as she peeked out from the side of their hiding spot. Kellord rolled out from the other side with a huff. George hopped off of the boy’s shoulder with a soft caw.  
“Me completely forgetting about my monthly report…” Faust rubbed the bridge of his nose. Kellord chuckled and dropped onto the cushion beside the demon while the girl threw up her hands and dropped onto the other side. She picked up a missed piece of popcorn and popped it in her mouth without a thought.  
“When were you supposed to have done it?” The boy questioned curiously.  
“Probably yesterday. They’ve gotten real tetchy about lateness ever since the Armageddidn’t,” Faust muttered. Aelisea shot a look across the couch to Kellord.  
“I’m sorry, the Arma-what?”  
“Oh, uh, right - you wouldn’t have seen the news. Armageddon. Judgement Day. End of the World. The Apocalypse; whatever you want to call it. Didn’t happen. Was supposed to, few months back. Aziraphale and Crowley and Satan’s own brat put a stop to the whole operation. Left a lot of angels and demons mighty peeved,” the demon casually explained, “But then word came down the pipe to leave it, so now we’re supposed to just keep on like it didn’t not happen. Same ol’ job. Drone on with temptations and the slow corruption of humankind. And everyone just sort of avoids the UK in general.”

Both kids weren’t sure what to do with that information. Kellord looked a little lost, chewing on his lip and losing his carefully crafted mask - revealing his actual young age for once. An uncomfortable silence fell on the couch until George interrupted with a chirrup.  
“Ah-Anyway!” Faust forced up a smile, “It didn’t happen, like I said. So, you know, no worries. And far as any demon knows, there’s no plan to start it up again this millennium.”  
“That’s… good. I guess,” Aelisea managed. Kellord absently picked at his nails while the crow hopped across his shoulders with a caw, tilting its head at no response.  
“Yeah, sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up,” Faust sheepishly apologized after a beat, glancing between the children half-worried he’d scared them.  
“It’s fine,” Kellord finally murmured, reaching up to offer the crow a hand. George took it, climbing up and riding the boy’s hand to his knee. “So, you missed a report.”  
“Yep. And I haven’t done anything worth reporting, which is also a problem,” the demon grumbled, though he was still worried he’d said too much. Aelisea rubbed her face with both hands before she schooled her expression.  
“Can we do anything to help?” She asked.  
“You certainly don’t have to, I’d feel bad asking now anyway,” Faust ran a hand through his shaggy hair as he rocked up off the couch. Kellord followed with an indignant caw from George as he was ousted from his perch.  
“One question, if I may,” the boy pressed, folding his hands behind his back. The demon made a soft sound in his throat before making an encouraging gesture.  
“Did _you_ want the world to end?”  
“Not - erm - ” Faust let out his breath before gathering his words properly. Best tell the truth. The kids deserved that much. “At the time, yes. We all did. Or, at least we thought we did. Since it didn’t though, a few of us - demons at least, I can’t speak for the other side - have come to be grateful humans and the Earth are still around.”  
Kellord hmm’d softly as he shared a glance with the girl, tilting his head slightly as she cracked a little snort laugh. Faust blinked.  
“Ok, ok! Alright, enough doom and gloom,” Aelisea smirked, standing up and slinging an arm around Kellord’s shoulders. The boy’s lip twitched into a little half-smile. “Our idiot Dad needs help doing his job so he can stay above ground and not be bored to death in Hell.”  
The incubus spluttered at that, heat rising to his cheeks in a most un-demonlike way. Aelisea waved off his protests and half-dragged both males along as she made for the door. George offered a departing caw.

One 10-minute walk later led the trio plus four antsy geese to a nearby park. Faust perched on a wooden bench near a large pond dominating the middle of the park. Aelisea and Kellord flanked the demon on either side, glancing up at him curiously.  
“Gotta pick some targets,” Faust murmured, scanning the patrons of the park that mid-afternoon. Nora and Leah settled on the grass near the left side of the bench while Tia honked curiously and waddled across a gravel walking path near the pond. Mary cautiously extended her long neck and glanced around in search of her own target. Kellord chuckled as he kept an eye on the geese, wondering how this was all about to play out. Faust leaned forward, resting his chin on his hands and his elbows on his knees.  
Tia caught sight of a couple walking hand-in-arm around the bend of the path and honked excitedly. Faust hid a snort with a cough as the goose waddled over to the attractive blond man of the pair.  
“Oh, good, this’ll be a dumpster fire,” Faust murmured under his breath as Leah and Nora took notice of Tia’s target. The couple awkwardly tried to get the large honking goose to move along while the twins snuck up from behind. Aelisea covered her mouth to hide a laugh as Nora nicked a small velvet box from the man’s jacket pocket. Kellord smirked as he watched Leah signal Tia with a flap of her wings and Nora came waddling back to the bench as quickly as she could.  
The demon took the box and popped it open, showing the two kids the beautiful diamond ring within. He snapped his fingers and the ring was suddenly a little rolled up bit of paper. Nora took it back and waddled off to the other two geese distracting the poor couple.  
“What’d it say?” Aelisea immediately whispered as soon as the goose waddled away.  
“Break up letter. Tried and true method to start epic arguments,” Faust murmured back with a conspiratory grin. Kellord snorted.

Back with the couple, the man noticed the familiar velvet box in the beak of one of the geese and panicked, snatching the item back and shoving it in his pocket quickly with reddened cheeks. The woman gave a questioning look and said something the children couldn’t quite make out. The man gestured wildly and tried smiling reassuringly as he steered the woman away from the trio of honking terrors. Faust raised his hand and the three geese reluctantly returned to the bench with sad, soft honks.  
“Good enough for a report, I’d say,” the demon waved a vague hand in the couple’s direction. Kellord raised his brow.  
“Shouldn’t you wait to see if anything actually happens?”  
“Been doing this for centuries, kiddo. It’ll cause a scene for sure.”  
“Just like Mary’s about to,” Aelsea muttered, pointing toward the wayward fourth goose. Kellord snorted again as they watched the sneaky smallest of the girls slowly approach an unwatched baby’s pram. The mother appeared distracted by a friend on a bench and had her back turned. Mary took her moment to waddle up and peer under the shade. A sleeping baby curled his little ham-fist around a prized toy. Mary stretched her neck and carefully took hold of the colorful rattle in her beak. Then, she ripped it free and hobbled quickly away with wings outstretched in triumph as the baby woke with a shrill cry. Faust covered his slightly pointed ears with a groan.  
“Ugh, effective, but Satan, human babies are _the worst_ when they cry,” the demon whined. Aelisea and Kellord watched in amusement as the mother panicked and pulled her baby out of the pram to hold it, cooing to try and calm the poor thing. The baby wasn’t having it and cried even harder. Mary ran laps around the pathway, shaking the rattle as she honked happily. The mother finally spotted what had upset her child and pointed accusingly at the naughty goose.  
“That beastly bird stole my Peter’s toy!”  
Others turned to watch the mother and a few kindly do gooders attempt to chase and corner the mottled grey water fowl. Faust snort-laughed as Mary led the lot on a wild goose chase across the park. She ended it with a glorious splash into the pond, prize in beak as she escaped pursuers.  
“That was awesome!” Aelisea giggled. Kellord agreed with a smirk and an amused “Mhm.”

As the park calmed down from the plight of the mother and child losing a beloved toy, Aelisea spotted the original target couple on the other side of the park. The girl pointed them out to her bench companions just as the man was fumbling with loose gestures while the woman dug through her purse. After a moment, the man dropped to one knee and produced the velvet box. The woman looked shocked, then shakily took the box and cracked it open. Visible confusion washed over her expression as she plucked out the paper and read it.

The entire park heard the resounding slap.

Kellord had to cover his mouth while Aelisea didn’t bother as she snickered. The woman stomped away with the man following, holding his reddened cheek and desperately trying to explain, but she wasn’t having it. Faust smirked triumphantly.  
“There we are, something report-worthy,” he murmured.

By the time Faust and the children wrangled the girls, it was early evening. The demon fed the geese while Aelisea happily made a quick dinner for her and her counterpart; directions on a box were simple to follow. Not to mention junk food tasted 10 times better when less than a month ago they were eating slop of questionable origin.  
Faust joined them at the table while they were eating with a roll of some sort of paper under his arm and an ornate quill pen with a ostentatious red and black feather. The metal portion of the nib had intricate little sigils etched into it.  
“What’s that?” Aelisea questioned with a raised brow, fork halfway to her mouth.  
“My report. Figured Kellord would enjoy watching the process,” the demon shrugged, setting everything down. The boy did indeed push his empty plate away and fold his hands under his chin to watch intently.  
“You’re so accommodating,” Kellord teased with a smirk. Faust snorted.  
“I promised you answers to your questions. Can’t look up this shit on the internet.”  
“True.”  
The demon plopped into a chair and carefully spread out the odd paper as he explained, “This is vellum, made from animal skin instead of wood pulp. And - uh, probably from a cow? Maybe goat. I don’t make my own anymore.”  
“Why animal skin?” Aelisea inquired.  
“Head Office is always a few centuries behind. Takes _forever_ to convince bookkeeping to update records. They used to require verbal, in person reports or actual stone tablet etchings till pretty recently,” Faust rambled as he pinned the vellum under his forearm to keep it still. He plucked the quill from the table and artfully twirled it between his fingers. “And now, the fun part.”  
“Oh?” Kellord hummed with a gleam in his eye. Faust abruptly jabbed the sharp nib into his arm and hissed. The kids both snapped a glance to each other, but continued watching in fascination as the quill pen began to glow ever so slightly. The demon jerked it free and ignored the trickle of dark blood from the wound as he started to write at the top of the page. The words were flowy and seemed to shift and shudder as the children tried to read it, though the language was not one any human on Earth could read without a lifetime of training.  
“What - oh, of course it wouldn’t be in english,” Kellord answered his own question breezily. Aelisea rolled her eyes.  
“Nah, gotta keep it classy,” Faust murmured with amusement as he wrote the last line with a flourish. Then, he set the feathered pen down and licked the tip of his index finger. A tiny whip of hellfire followed as the demon made a complicated sigil in the bottom right corner.  
“And done.”  
“Now, how do you even send that?” the boy tilted his head curiously. Faust answered him with a wink before rolling the vellum back up and snapping his fingers. The page and the quill both disappeared with a soft, audible pop.  
“Show off,” the girl muttered, crossing her arms.  
“I’m a demon,” Faust quipped with a smirk and a chuckle, “we’ve all gotta have flair.”  
“Is that in the manual?” Kellord shot back with a cheeky grin. The demon snorted and reached over to playfully ruffle the boy’s short ginger locks.  
“Sure, why not?”

\-----

“Wot?” Crowley helpfully inquired as he shot his angel a raised brow.  
“I said, we should go pop over and give a little visit,” Aziraphale replied with only a hint of exasperation as he shelved another stray book back into its place. The demon blinked.  
“We-ell, surely everything’s going smoothly, angel? A coupla weeks is hardly any time at all.”  
Aziraphale tutted and shelved another book before rounding a knowing look at the former serpent. Crowley sank back against the couch with a groan.  
“Fiiiine, we can go check on the kids,” the demon muttered, shifting his sunglasses off so he could give the bridge of his nose an annoyed rub. Aziraphale instantly brightened with a satisfied little smile.  
“I’m so glad you agree, my dear.”  
The angel pointedly ignored the quiet grumblings from Crowley’s general direction as he returned to shelving the rest of the stack of books in his arms. If he was still smugly smiling, only the bookshelves knew.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apologies for the delay on this one, I had intended to get it posted Friday but I had to pop down to help my elderly folks out all weekend.
> 
> Hope you all enjoy! And thank you for reading.


	4. The First Visit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aziraphale and Crowley pop over for a visit to see how things are going...

“Oh come now, my dear, don’t look so put upon,” Aziraphale gently admonished. Crowley dragged his feet just enough to achieve reluctance, but not quite edging into petulance. He was a grown demon, after all.  
“I swear, you’re just determined to mother hen that poor schmuck to death and then we’ll never find out the answer,” Crowley snipped back, tucking his hands into his jeans’ pockets. Well, most of his hands. The angel rolled his eyes.  
“Crowley, dearest, I will not ‘mother hen’ them, as you say. I’ve given them a little over a week to settle in and now I feel it’s prudent to check in on how they’re getting along.”  
Crowley huffed and tipped his sunglasses forward just enough to give the angel a meaningful glare over the lenses. Aziraphale pursed his lips right back. The demon let out a sigh before opening the passenger door of the Bentley. Despite the disagreement, Aziraphale dutifully hopped in.  
“I’m just sayin’, give the bloke a little breathing room. He’s terribly afraid of you, Guardian of the Eastern Gate,” the demon continued once he slid into the driver’s side. The angel’s face fell into a mournful frown.  
“Oh dear, is he really? Whatever for?”  
Crowley had to resist giving his angel an incredulous look at that, choosing instead to turn over the engine and recklessly pull away from the curb in front of the bookshop to several alarmed honks from other vehicles. Aziraphale yelped and clutched at the roof strap.  
“We-ell, angel, when you two met, you pinned him up against a wall with every intent to discorporate him at the least,” the demon reminded the other, calmly flying through a crosswalk and around an elderly pedestrian.  
“Oh! Oh, so I did,” the angel’s brows furrowed with worry before he suddenly looked crestfallen, “Oh dear, Crowley, you don’t think he agreed simply because he thought - ?”  
“I wouldn’t presume,” Crowley muttered, cutting off Aziraphale’s worried question. The angel looked thoughtful for a moment before his thoughts were rudely interrupted by another honk from another car as Crowley sped through a traffic light that was clearly red just a second ago.  
“He liked ‘em well enough though - the kid’s, I mean,” the demon added at Aziraphale’s mildly confused look. “But I do think we should at least give him a heads up we’re coming. Bit rude to just show up unannounced, yeah?”  
“Oh, yes, quite. Where’s your mobile?”  
“Can you even _use_ a modern wireless phone?” Crowley mockingly asked with a raised brow, taking his eyes off the road for a beat. Aziraphale bristled with a little indignant sound.  
“My dear, don’t be a boob. Just give me the - oh! Watch out!”  
“I see ‘em. Quit nagging, angel,” the demon snorted, waving off the angel’s panicked state as the Bentley breezed past a near collision.  
“it's not like you haven’t gone and hit someone before…” Aziraphale quipped tersely.  
“That was _one time!_ And _she_ hit me!”

\-----

Faust nearly jumped out of his skin when a blaring _Highway to Hell_ interrupted his morning. The children were outside feeding the girls, so the demon fished his mobile out of his pocket and glanced at the caller ID. A comical picture of a snake flicking its tongue out greeted him. He didn’t remember assigning _that_ picture to the former Serpent of Eden...  
“S-sir? Erm - Crowley?” Faust tentatively answered, wondering what the Fallen wanted.  
 _‘Aah - actually, dear boy, it’s Aziraphale. Crowley is driving at the mo - dear Lord, watch out!’_  
A slightly muffled response of, _‘I saw ‘em, angel, you worry too much,’_ from Crowley with an exasperated tone. Faust suppressed a snicker at the angel’s expense.  
“What can I do for you?” The demon fought not to add ‘sir’ to that, too.  
 _‘Well! We had a thought to pop over today and see how everyone was settling in, if we’re not imposing, of course.’_  
 _‘We’re imposing, I’m not turning around at this point,’_ Crowley interjected. Faust covered a snort with a cough. He glanced up as the kids opened the back door, giggling over something the geese did.  
“No! No, it’s not a problem. Sure the kids would be happy to see you.”  
 _‘Oh, lovely! We should be - Dearest! Please slow down! - should be there by lunch.’_

Faust muttered agreement and exchanged the expected pleasantries before hanging up. Kellord offered a curious look.  
“Crowley and the angel are coming for a… visit.”  
“You sound worried,” the boy gently pointed out. Aelisea rolled her eyes as she poured herself a glass of juice.  
“Mr. Fell did scare the bejeezus out of Dad,” she muttered, missing Faust’s surprised glance while she fended off George from stealing a sip. Kellord smirked and drew the incubus’ attention.  
“Mn, fair. Are you afraid they won’t find your accommodations up to par?”  
“Yeah, you could say that,” the demon fretted, running his fingers through his hair. Kellord softened to a reassuring smile.  
“I don’t believe you’ve anything to fear.”  
Faust let out a bark of laughter, “Easy for you to say.”  
“I’m simply stating fact.”  
“You’ll be fine, that angel is a big softie,” Aelisea breezily added. Faust snorted, but he dropped the argument.

A few scant hours later, the Bentley roared up the lane precisely at 5 past noon. The demon sauntered over to let his angelic companion out with a mocking flourish of a gesture. Aziraphale huffed and surveyed the modest little duplex with a curious eye.  
“Oh, how quaint!” The angel gushed, glancing over the climbing ivy, moss, and gnarled but well cared for hawthorne tree. Crowley gave the tree a once over with tilted forward sunglasses and made a reluctant agreeing noise.  
“Wonder if he did that on purpose,” the demon muttered, heading for the front door. Aziraphale cocked a brow.  
“What do you mean, my dear?”  
“That tree. S’a thing,” Crowley gestured vaguely a moment, “The type means something ‘round here. He said before he’s mistaken for Fae before an’ that type of tree’s a sign of ‘em.”  
“Oh, I see! Very clever,” Aziraphale nodded, despite Crowley giving him look. The demon shook his head and rapped on the door.  
Aelisea opened the door wide for the pair with a friendly grin. “Hey Mr. Fell, Mr. Crowley!”  
“Young Miss Aelisea! You’re looking much better since we last spoke,” Aziraphale brushed past his demon companion as he gushed over the girl’s health. 

Crowley absently noted the normalcy of Faust’s home as he sauntered in behind the angel. Kellord greeted them from the kitchen with a grey and black crow perched on his shoulder who gave a little soft caw.  
“How’s it been?” the former serpent asked with a casual tone. The boy offered a shrug and a smile.  
“Good. Great, even.”  
“What’s with the bird?”  
“This is George. George, this is Mr. Crowley. Say hello, won’t you?” The crow gave a happy little trill in greeting, swaying slightly on his shoulder. Crowley wasn’t sure how to respond, so he settled on an awkward half wave.  
“It’s one of Mr. Faust’s,” Kellord elaborated with a gesture. The demon snorted.   
“Seems to fancy you, kid.”  
“He’s easy to win over,” the boy smirked, giving the crow a little scratch on the head. Crowley tilted his head curiously. For all the kid’s perceived problems and what the demon recalled from his admittedly loose knowledge of human psychology, at least the boy seemed to be acclimating well. Being pleasant to animals was also a good sign.  
“Oh? Likes a bit of bird - uh - food?” The demon stabbed into the darkness, only really familiar with duck diets.  
“Alcohol, actually.”  
Crowley stopped short, brow raised high over the rim of his sunglasses. George gave a helpful caw. Kellord let the awkward thought marinate for a beat longer before breaking with a chuckle.  
“He’s apparently some sort of familiar, as are the geese out back. I haven’t asked for details just yet, I like to keep Mr. Faust on his toes,” he finally explained, letting the poor lesser demon off the hook with the Fallen. Crowley let his shoulders relax with a snort.  
“Aah, for a second there - nevermind. Never got on with that sort, prefer to work alone.”  
“Alone, eh?” the boy teased, eyes slipping toward the direction the angel had gone. Crowley made a noise in the back of his throat, grateful for his sunglasses.  
“Ngk - that’s different,” the demon muttered defensively.   
“Of course.” Kellord smirked knowingly.

Conversely, Aelisea led Aziraphale into the den and to a fidgeting Faust. The angel took notice and wore his best friendly smile as he entered.  
“Faust, my dear boy, this is a wonderful home,” the angel diplomatically offered as a conversation starter. The lesser demon nervously ran his hand through his hair as he tentatively smiled back.  
“Er - thanks. I tried to keep a low profile, and then it just… grew on me.”  
“Oh, I know the feeling. The bookshop has grown marvelously in the time I’ve been in Soho. Why, only the facade could arguably be called the same!”  
Aelisea loosed a knowing little smile as she watched Faust relax a bit and swap amusing little stories with the angel for a few minutes. She felt thoroughly accomplished. Kellord and Crowley joined them later, and the girl immediately caught the little smirk on the ginger boy’s lips while the Fallen groaned at hearing Aziraphale prattle on about his bookshop.  
“What did you do?” She demanded in a harsh whisper. Kellord chuckled softly.  
“Hardly a thing, Aelis. You’re so jumpy,” the boy murmured as he let George off his shoulder. The crow made itself scarce in the presence of the angel with a wary caw.  
The girl gave her counterpart a hard stare before returning her attention to the three celestial beings.  
“And how have the children been getting along?” The angel asked, changing the subject. Crowley let out a quiet sigh of thanks.  
“I mean, I’m biased to say fine, but they’re standing right here,” Faust gestured to the two kids, prompting them. Aelisea rolled her eyes. Kellord poorly hid a smirk.  
“Mr. Faust has been quite accommodating.”  
“Kel, I swear, use normal words - Dad’s been great.”  
Crowley shot a look at his fellow demon at that, raising a brow. Faust rubbed at the back of his neck nervously and shrugged. The angel clapped his hands with a pleased, wide smile.  
“Wonderful!”  
“Sounds great, everything’s tickety boo,” Crowley quipped, waving a hand dismissively. Aziraphale leveled a mildly annoyed look at his husband.  
“Why don’t you show me your rooms?” The angel suggested after turning back to the children. Aelisea and Kellord both agreed and raced each other up the stairs.   
“Upstairs, first door on the right,” Faust offered with a helpful gesture. The Fallen raised a brow.  
“One room?”  
“They asked for it!” The lesser demon shot back defensively. Aziraphale took his turn to wave his hand dismissively.  
“They’re close, dearest. Young human siblings often share a room,” the angel gently reminded, hiding an amused smile while the former serpent muttered under his breath. Aziraphale padded up to the second story, leaving the two demons in the den.  
“So.”  
“Hm?” Faust tilted his head, cocking a brow in question to the obvious prod. Crowley rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses.  
“What’s with the birds?”  
“Hnk - I just - erm - I got _lonely,_ alright?” The lesser demon muttered defensively, crossing his arms, “And the animals made a good cover, early on. Who knew the locals already had stories of Fae and their familiars wreaking havoc?”  
Crowley snorted, smirking. “Fair. S’pose they’re more useful for you ‘round here. Second question; already got ‘em calling you dad, eh?”  
Faust’s face flushed a fetching color of red as he ducked his head to hide behind his shaggy hair. Crowley grinned and laughed.  
“You’re so easily flustered, how the hell are you an incubus?!”  
“I told you I’m _really_ bad at it,” the lesser demon grumbled, twisting his fingers in his jacket sleeves. “And anyway, Aelisea just does it to tease me.”  
“You sure ‘bout that?” Crowley retorted with a sly smirk.

Kellord graciously held the door open for the angel once he joined them on the next floor. Aziraphale gave the room a thorough glance over, humming approvingly. He paused, however, at the nearly empty reading nook.  
“Oh dear, that just won’t do! Has Faust not taken you to acquire any reading materials?” The angel tried not to sound completely aghast. Aelisea snorted and rolled her eyes.  
“He’s been making sure we know our way around town, first.”  
“Food was also a high priority. And clothes. We do have the internet, though,” Kellord gestured to the modestly sized computer on the desk. Aziraphale pursed his lips.  
“Oh, that blasted thing doesn’t quite have the same appeal as a real book you can hold in your hands! However, I can’t deny that it is a great source of information… Crowley is always finding wonderful new restaurants to go to for a nice dinner on a place called Yipe, or some such.”  
Both kids glanced at each other and shared an amused look. Kellord offered a shrug.  
“I’m sure we would obtain some soon, depending on what we decide concerning schooling.”  
“Decide? Oh! I suppose we’ve only had experience in selective private tutoring,” Aziraphale fretted, wringing his hands, “You two would need… less directed education, wouldn’t you?”  
Aelisea raised a brow at that wording, but dismissed even attempting to get the angel to explain further. Probably not worth the headache. She ended up just nodding.  
“Yeah, that.”  
“For now, we’re self-teaching until we choose between public education or home schooling,” Kellord elaborated.  
“Well, which would you prefer?” Aziraphale pointedly asked. Both children shrugged in unison.  
“Looked up what kids our age do in school, looks dull as hel - heck,” the girl corrected, wincing. The angel smiled and let out a soft chuckle.  
“Oh, it's just a place. Really, the only one off limits in my book is taking Her name in vain.”  
“Noted,” Kellord smirked, gently elbowing Aelisea, “I’m in a bit of agreement. I tend to be… too nosey. Too curious. I would be quite the disruption.”  
“But! Mr. Faust was looking into teaching at home stuff. We’d get to learn how we like, and I’d get to read what I want to,” the girl had a dangerous gleam in her eye. Kellord looked oddly proud.  
“Angel, are you really quizzing them about _school?_ ” Crowley drawled from the doorway. Aziraphale huffed. The kids both hid giggles. The demon tilted his sunglasses down his nose and smirked.  
“If I recall correctly, I was the nanny, not you.”  
“Well, yes, dear, but they don’t have any _books_ and - ”  
“So? Fix it yourself,” Crowley whipped out his mobile and tapped the screen for a few seconds before turning the phone around to show the angel, “There’s a shop not four blocks away.”

Faust figured he should have been surprised. But the last week and a half had proven to blow the lesser demon’s expectations right out of the water. Here he was, strolling down the block with an angel having a fairly friendly conversation while the angel’s demon husband regaled the two children with outrageous stories.

It was a wild time post-apocalypse.

“So, not to harp, but have you given thought to how you will go about teaching the children?” Aziraphale asked as the local bookshop came into view.  
“Eh, figured we’d feel it out as we go,” Faust hesitantly responded, shoving his hands in his pockets.  
“Well, if you’ve no set curriculum, might I suggest some novels everyone should be familiar with - ”  
“Angel, they’re 12! We’re not starting with Wilde or Canterbury!” Crowley loudly interjected with a huff. He turned back to the kids with a snort, “Honestly, you’d think he’d’ve learned with Warlock.”  
Kellord chuckled while Aelisea offered a helpful shrug.   
“Though, I have to argue that the Wife of Bath is a fun read,” the boy smirked. The former serpent paused, glancing sidelong at the ginger kid.  
“Internet?”  
“Internet,” Kellord confirmed. Aelisea rolled her eyes and elbowed the boy. Crowley stifled a laugh of his own as he turned about to open the door to the shop to graciously hold it open. Aziraphale lit up not unlike a kid in a candy store with unlimited funds, ushering both children along. Faust snorted as he watched the angel try and fail not to look more excited than the kids.  
“You might be lugging more books back home than I am,” the lesser demon teased the Fallen. Crowley shook his head with a fond smile tugging at his lips.  
“Nah, he’ll get over the mooning soon as he realizes this place only has modern prints and what not.”

And Crowley wasn’t wrong. Aziraphale did his level best not to show his disappointment to the two children as they picked out books for themselves. However, the angel did cast fleeting glances toward his husband each time they passed the pair of demons. Faust fought not to grin knowingly.  
“How many’s he planning on getting them?” Crowley finally asked warily, after watching a single basket become two, then three overflowing with loot. Faust shrugged.  
“I’ll just whip up more shelves.”  
“Don’t say that loud enough for Zira to hear you,” the Fallen hissed, pressing his finger to his lips. Faust snorted.  
“It's not your house,” the lesser demon pointed out, raising a brow.   
“Yesss, but sometimes he forgets he can just do that and people already question how the bookshop can be so big on the inside,” Crowley huffed. Faust tried not to roll his eyes. This is why he kept away from overly public human spaces. Less questions. Magaret and the kids were his only exceptions.

Finally, Kellord and Aelisea approached the pair of demons with matching grins, holding up their baskets of literature.  
“Get what you wanted?” Faust asked with amusement. He got answering nods. Aziraphale looked mightily pleased with himself while the incubus shelled out the money to the cashier.  
“Creating two more bibliophiles in the world?” Crowley teased.  
“No harm in instilling a love of the written word. Even if this shop doesn’t have quite the desired selection,” the angel smoothly ignored the jab from his husband. Crowley snorted with a smirk.  
“Sure that’s not too materialistic?”  
“Couldn’t be any worse than myself,” Aziraphale dismissed with a prim huff. The Fallen gave his angelic husband a look over his sunglasses but didn’t deign to continue the playful banter once the others rejoined them.  
“Off with the spoils?” The former serpent jokingly asked the kids. Aelisea shot him a toothy grin while Kellord simply nodded. Faust herded them both out and the other two celestial beings took pity on the incubus. After all, it was nearly suppertime.

They followed along back to the little duplex, partaking in a little further small talk before taking their leave.  
“Going all the way back to London so soon?” Kellord asked, folding his hands behind his back. Crowley playfully ruffled the kid’s hair with a toothy smirk.  
“Oh, we’ll be back ‘round sometime soon, I’m sure.”  
“Gotta keep this schmuck on his toes,” Aelisea prodded Faust’s hip with a teasing smile. The lesser demon rubbed the back of his head. Aziraphale offered a soft smile.  
“You’re doing a smashing job so far, my dear boy. I trust perhaps the next visit, you and the children could pop across the pond to Soho.”  
“That would be cool,” Aelisea agreed.  
“Mhm, I didn’t get a proper chance to admire the bookshop collection,” Kellord added. The angel blushed faintly at the enthusiasm, clasping his hands.  
“W-well, of course - ”  
“Oookay, angel, let’s get on. I’m sure Faust’s about had it with us meddling for the time being,” Crowley interrupted, gently steering his husband to the door, “Have a good one, don’t get into too much trouble, yadda yadda.”  
Kellord and Aelisea hid amused smirks as they waved goodbye. Faust offered the usual pleasantries before slumping onto the couch once the roar of the Bentley sped out of range. Both kids shared a look before slipping upstairs with their newly acquired books, letting the poor demon de-stress from the surprise visit.

Faust greatly appreciated it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Snark! Books! Kellord being a little shite! And Faust is 1000% done. Poor Faust.
> 
> Thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed this chapter!


	5. Incorrect Assumptions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kellord makes an assumption and acts on it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter touches on some of the heavier notes I wanted to tackle with Kellord's... issues. He's had a very, very shitty time. 
> 
> So, this chapter is edging the M warning for subject matter. Fair warning!

Kellord sighed wistfully as he sat curled up in the nook with a book half forgotten in his lap. It had been just over two months now since the demon Faust had taken him and his compatriot Aelisea into his care. Two months since being given a room of their own, food, clothing, and some basic schooling until Faust figured out the whole homeschooling thing. Two whole, long months without a single useful reaction to the boy’s pointed quips and flirts.

People were simple. Figure out what they want and use it to your advantage. So far, Kellord had proven quite adept at this for his young age and limited set of instances. Demons were proving substantially more difficult to pin. Or at least, one very specific incubus who refused to be very incubus-y.

His loosely called research hadn’t been very helpful; most of anything vaguely useful he could find both on the internet and in books revolved around the demon initiating in every instance. And while Kellord certainly wouldn’t mind that turn of events, he ached for control. Control over what, specifically, would likely take multiple well-versed therapists years to uncover.  
For now, the boy chalked it up to lack of choice. He chose this demon, and by any Powers That Be, he was going to figure this particular puzzle out. 

Perhaps a more hands on approach was necessary.

Late that very same evening, Kellord made sure Aelisea was fast asleep before he snuck down out of bed to enact his latest plan. He silently padded down the darkened hallway until he reached his goal. Carefully, the boy clutched the knob to the door and eased it open as silently as he could. Kellord let out a quiet sigh before slipping into the demon’s bedroom, pulling the door shut behind him.   
Wide brown eyes cautiously watched the sleeping figure swathed in blood red sheets in his oversized bed. While the demon didn’t bother sleeping every night, when he did - he slept hard. When Faust didn’t shift, Kellord approached with bated breath. So far, so good. The boy let a smirk grace his lips as he crawled onto the mattress, surveying the sleeping incubus with an oddly detached sort of look in his eye and a tilt to his head. Shaking his head silently to dispel his strange thoughts, Kellord pressed onward. He crawled further up until the boy was settled astride the demon’s side, hand resting cautiously on the sheet-covered stomach of his target. 

Still no visible reaction. 

Emboldened, Kellord slipped his hand underneath the sheet and slowly slid his fingers down, down… too far down. His brow shot up when he only encountered smooth warm skin at the juncture that there should have been _something_. A larger hand abruptly snapped up the boy’s questing wrist and jerked it up and off the demon.  
“What. The hell. Are you doing, kid?” Faust’s groggy, gravelly voice broke the silence in the room. Kellord’s brown eyes snapped up to meet the faintly glowing rings of green set in the darkness. He sheepishly grinned.  
“Well, I _was_ trying to thank you for taking care of us, but you seem to be… missing parts.”  
“Trying to thank - Kellord, what the actual fuck?” The demon brought his other hand up to furiously rub at his face before sitting up against the headboard. He dragged the boy along, dropping his wrist once Kellord’s back gently hit the headboard before pulling the sheets up and around his naked body protectively.  
“Why the heavenly host are you trying to - no, wrong question. Why do you think you need to thank me by doing - by _touching_ \- fuck, kid… Explain.”  
This wasn’t how this was supposed to go. The demon sounded furious. Kellord chewed his lip as he settled his hands in his lap, unsure what to do with them now. Faust let out a slow breath, searching the child’s face for any sort of reaction to having heard his demand.  
“Kellord? Answer me,” He tried again, steadying his tone to something less angry. The boy flinched, but cleared his throat after a beat.  
“I… assumed. Apparently incorrectly. My apologies, I’ll just - be going - ” the boy tried to roll off the bed, however Faust caught him by the arm.  
“No, you’re not getting out of this that easily, kiddo,” the demon grumbled as he pulled Kellord back, setting him up against the headboard for a second time. Faust twisted so he could properly face the fidgeting boy.   
“What did you assume?”  
“I - ” the boy paused. He wasn’t trying to flee anymore, though, so Faust let him gather his thoughts.   
“Everyone wants something,” Kellord finally murmured, “Nothing is done for free. This has been true my whole - admittedly short - life. I… assumed you would follow the same logic. Based on what you are, I assumed you would want sex.”  
“Why on God’s green Earth would I want _sex_ from a _child?!”_ the demon spluttered, gesturing wildly. Kellord bit his lip and looked away.  
“You wouldn’t be the first, or the last,” the boy muttered under his breath. 

Faust stopped short. He knew the kid had problems; possessing someone unfortunately opened up their minds to the possessor even if said possessor was doing their level best to not pry. He’d seen glimpses and flashes but had just as quickly turned away from looking too deeply out of respect for the kid’s privacy - and lack of autonomy in the whole situation. He unwillingly recalled a few of those glimpses and quickly put an uncomfortable 2 and 2 together.  
The demon let out a long breath before he threw an arm loosely around Kellord’s shoulders.  
“Look, I can assure you I don’t want any kind of… repayment for taking care of you two, alright? Just - this time you get to just be kids, yeah?”  
“I don’t understand,” The boy curled in on himself. He didn’t quite pull away from Faust, though.  
“You asked me before why I didn’t make a contract with both of you. If I had wanted _anything_ from you for taking you in, it’d have been a contract. Souls are valuable, to be blunt.”  
Kellord glanced up at Faust, still curled around his raised knees. He tilted his head slightly but still said nothing. The demon let out a soft grunt before leaning back against the headboard, loosening his grip on the boy’s shoulders as an invitation to let him escape. Faust was no human therapist. He couldn’t pretend to know what to say to even begin healing the kid’s issues.

They sat against the dark wood in silence for awhile. Faust kept glancing down to see if the boy had fallen asleep, but was met each time with a quiet, lip-chewing, and fully awake child at his side.   
Abruptly, Kellord surged up and caught the demon in a kiss. Faust was too shocked to stop him. After an awkward beat of trying to goad a reaction out of the stone stiff demon, Kellord slowly pulled away with downcast eyes.  
“I chose to go with you partly because I find you attractive. I had hoped to - in a way - choose my lesser evil, as some would put it,” the boy explained slowly, his tone deceptively even, “I also find you utterly fascinating. No one else has ever bothered answering my every question, encouraging my curiosity.”  
Faust swallowed thickly. This. Was a lot to unpack. The demon felt torn for an appropriate reaction.  
“Erm - I, uh, hoo boy,” Faust started, pausing to properly gather his words. Kellord waited patiently while the demon ran his hands through his shaggy sleep-mussed dark hair.  
“Two things, kiddo. First off, uh, flattered, of course. Probably not mentally healthy, but flattering. Second, maybe let’s pump the brakes on hauling off kissing millennia old demons when you’re not even an adult by human standards?”  
Kellord furrowed his brow as he glanced up at the incubus. “I can’t help but notice neither of those were a disgusted ‘get out immediately’.”  
“They weren’t,” Faust acknowledged, nodding once, “Because I’m not angry, I’m just concerned.”  
“You know, you are a terrible demon,” the boy’s lip twitched in an effort not to break into a smirk. Faust snorted softly.  
“Yeah, maybe I am. But this shitty demon’s gonna try to show you that not everyone is out to use you. Sometimes, people want to do things simply because we want to.”  
“Is this the dreaded N-word again?” Kellord teased as some of the coiled tension eased out of his rigid posture. The demon coughed out a choked laugh before he nodded with a wheeze.  
“Yeah, kiddo, something like that,” he managed after catching his breath.  
“...So, you’re not going to kick us out for my indiscretion?” the boy hazarded, fidgeting with his hands once again. Faust sobered his tone immediately.  
“No! Of course not. You’ve got your share of problems, but they’re hardly solely your fault,” the demon scoffed.   
“How accommodating,” Kellord chuckled softly, quirking his lip into a half smirk. Faust grinned with another soft snort, ruffling the boy’s short ginger locks playfully.

“Now, how’s about you pop off back to bed, yeah?”  
“Just… one more question, if I may,” Kellord pressed, folding his hands into a faux prayer gesture. The demon blinked.  
“Uh, sure, yeah. Shoot.”  
“Why don’t you have any genitals?”  
Faust choked. He caught the boy’s cheeky knowing grin as the demon coughed and spluttered. “Ghk - Little shite,” He grumbled once he was able to speak clearly again, “Do you actually want to know, or are you just trying to kill me?”  
“Actually curious,” Kellord admitted with a bit of a shrug.  
“Celestial and occult beings don’t have bits unless we make an Effort. Some make an Effort all the time, some never do. Most of us only bother when we want to.”  
“Interesting.”  
“Yeah, _you_ should not be that interested pre-puberty, kiddo,” Faust muttered, “I’ll double check, but I’m almost positive age of consent around here is 17. So, we’ll circle back on this whole… thing then, alright? Think you can hold out for 5 years?”  
“I suppose I could make the attempt,” the boy put on a mock exasperated tone complete with a shrug before adding an amused, “Though, pinpointing the date might be tricky.”  
Faust cocked his head with a frown and furrowed brows. “What do you mean?”  
“I don’t actually know when my birthday is,” Kellord answered easily, “Honestly not even sure if I _am_ 12 or not, I just assumed Aelis’ age when I met her.”  
“How do you not - ” the demon cut himself off mid-incredulous outburst with a snap of his jaw. He took a deep breath and patted the boy on the head, earning a raised brow from Kellord. “When’s her birthday, then?”  
“I believe the fifteenth of March.”  
“Noted. Now, off to bed with you, ya troublemaker.”  
The boy offered a rueful little smile before he scooted to the edge of the bed and hopped down.  
“Good night, Kel,” the demon murmured with a loose mock salute. Kellord let out an amused sound.  
“Mn, technically it's morning - “ the boy cut off as he caught the pillow tossed at him by an exasperated Faust.  
“Go to bed, brat!”  
“Going, going,” Kellord chuckled, finally padding out to the hallway and shutting the door behind him quietly.

Faust let out a long, tired sigh as he rubbed the bridge of his nose before running fingers through his messy dark hair again. He used his free hand to snap himself fully dressed before shucking off the covers and climbing out of his bed.  
“Poor fucking messed up kid,” the demon muttered to himself, glancing toward the ceiling warily, “Need to do an extra week of tempting to make up for all these good deeds. Can’t have the wrong sort of attention...”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoo boy, Kellord. My little dude, you need _so much_ help.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	6. Hunting for Help

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Faust and Aelisea not-so-subtly encourage Kellord to seek some professional help...

Faust made good on assuaging his worries. Over the next week, his geese terrorized the nearby parks and public spaces. The demon himself performed inconveniences around Cork proper - mostly cabs ignoring rushing businessmen and ladies stepping in gross muddy puddles that most definitely hadn’t been there a moment ago. He also incited one parking meter to expire just in time for a meter maid to spot it and write a ticket for a big name lawyer who would surely blow his top over it.

Aelisea wasn’t stupid. It didn’t take her long to figure out what had happened. She thanked every star and deity that may or may not exist that Kellord hadn’t completely ruined their chance to live with Faust after his stunt.  
“What were you even _thinking?!”_ She angrily hissed at him. The boy had merely shrugged helplessly.  
“Everything is fine, Aelis. There’s no reason to get cross with me now.”  
“There’s every reason to get cross! He’s been pretty adamant about not breaking human laws with us and then you go and try to - aaargh!” Aelisea tugged at her hair in frustration. Kellord let out a sigh.  
“If it’s any consolation, he’s promised not to hold my indiscretion against us.”  
“That is not a ‘consolation’ and you know it! You could’ve just _listened to me!”_ The girl rounded on her counterpart, pointing her finger aggressively.  
“Well now, where’s the fun in that?” Kellord chuckled dryly, dodging the pillow hurled at his head. Aelisea groaned and flopped backwards onto her bunk.  
“Why are you so… you?”  
“Years of trauma and deplorable living situations? Oh, let’s delve into my coping mechanisms, perhaps?”  
“...That was rhetorical, you ass,” she grumbled, throwing her arm over her face. Kellord let his lip quirk into a smirk as he settled on the edge of her bed beside her sprawled form.  
“For any measure that’s worth to you, I am sorry. I shall listen to you from now on, hm?” The boy finally offered after a long, semi-comfortable silence. Aelisea snorted.  
“Take Faust’s offer on getting you a therapist, and we’ll call it even.”  
“If that’s what you want,” Kellord shrugged, tone neutral.

Faust bodily collapsed onto the couch as soon as he returned from his most recent escapade. Causing minor mayhem took a toll on one’s corporation. The demon glanced up as Kellord with George perched on his ginger mop padded into the den.  
“Evening,” the boy greeted, offering a bowl of freshly popped popcorn. Faust straightened up from his slouch and gestured for the kid to sit.  
“Hey, kiddo.”  
“You look beat,” Kellord teased gently, settling down and stealing a piece of popcorn. Faust rolled his eyes.  
“What do you want?” The demon’s tone had a teasing edge to it, despite the tired groan. Kellord put on a mock affronted look, pressing his fingers to his chest.  
“Me? I was just getting my doting caretaker a treat after slaving all day to cover his tracks from being a terrible demon,” the boy slipped into a grin at the end, offering the bowl again. George swiped a piece and hopped onto the back of the couch. “Alright, truthfully, I… wanted to take you up on your offer.”  
Faust blinked. He sat back and really looked at the kid before taking a handful from the bowl.  
“You wanna try a therapist?” The demon asked, mostly gauging the response. Kellord let out a sigh.  
“Yes. I have doubts, however I won’t hear the end of it from Aelis if I don’t at least try.”  
“You know you have to actually talk to them, right? And no flirting to get out of tough conversations,” Faust quickly added, shaking his finger at the boy. Kellord shot the demon a rueful look.  
“I am aware.”  
“Good. Alright. I’ll uh, look some options up,” Faust settled back into the couch, munching a few pieces of popcorn before swiping the remote to flick on the tellie. Bad infomercials fizzled onto the screen. Kellord curled up against the demon’s side and tucked his hands against his own chest. When the other didn’t push him away, the boy rested his head on Faust’s shoulder and watched idiotic actors fall out of chairs until bedtime.

Faust dropped a handwritten list of names in front of Kellord at breakfast the next morning. The boy paused with his spoon halfway to his mouth and raised his brow.  
“Couldn’t find anything wrong with any of these,” Faust murmured by way of explanation, “Take your pick, look’em up on the internet, whatever you want.”  
“By anything wrong, am I to assume you checked them out… biblically?” Kellord asked, amusement coloring his words. Faust nodded with a snort.  
“Are these some therapists?” Aelisea glanced over the list from her chair as she finished her toast. Kellord made a non-committal noise before giving a single nod.  
“Good, you’re looking every single one up before I’ll let you even crack open that Harlequin novel you snuck into the Jack London stack,” she pointed her fork at him accusingly. Kellord sighed theatrically.  
“You’re torturous,” the boy protested, finishing his cereal with a dramatic flourish. Faust rolled his eyes and stole a drink from George’s morning ‘snack’ beverage, pointedly ignoring the crow’s angry caws.

Later that morning, Kellord sat down at the computer with a tired, annoyed sigh. Aelis was holding his non-academic books hostage until he completed this task. He gave his knuckles a cursory crack before typing in the first name. Might as well get this over with.

Over the next hour or so, the boy narrowed the extensive list down to eight local therapists all over Cork. Kellord hadn’t been terribly impressed by some despite having been vetted by the demon; perhaps they hadn’t done anything to get on downstairs’ lists, but Kellord had the power of choice and he was going to use it. The boy smiled as he checked off the last name and glanced over the list.  
“Let’s give this the old college try, hm?” He murmured to himself.

The next morning, Kellord didn’t ask how Faust had gotten him an appointment with four of the eight therapists in one day. Likely some demonic miracle or two.  
“Ready?” The demon asked, mobile in hand to summon a taxi.  
“As I’ll ever be,” the boy quipped back, smirking. Faust rolled his eyes and glanced to the grinning Aelisea where she was perched on the couch.  
“You gonna be alright on your own for a few hours?”  
“Sure, maybe I’ll get the geometry worksheets done,” she teased, gesturing to the printouts on the kitchen table. Faust sighed.  
“Don’t tempt me to add some physics or chemistry problems. I’ll find the driest, most boring videos I can.”  
Aelisea only laughed at the threat, gesturing toward the door.  
“Go, get moving boys, I’ll be fine.”

Kellord and Faust pulled up to the first clinic at 9 am. The boy went in with the older blonde female therapist at 15 past after some brief introductions. Faust opted to keep it easy and went with ‘adoptive father’ on the paperwork. Not untrue, just simplified.  
Kellord walked right back out 15 minutes later with a slight frown and furrowed brows. The demon asked no questions. He hailed a cab and off they went to the second appointment.

This went slightly better than the first. Kellord spent the entire appointment’s 30 minutes with the somewhat hip younger man in jeans. However, the boy minutely shook his head after rejoining Faust in the waiting room.  
“Too bubbly and sure of himself,” Kellord supplied once they stepped outside, “Barely let me get a word in otherwise after introductions.”  
“That doesn’t sound very helpful,” Faust agreed. The demon steered them toward the next - this one was only a couple blocks away.

The third was an older, salt-and-pepper haired man in a three-piece suit. He came out less than 10 minutes into the appointment blustering and practically shoving Kellord out into the waiting room. Faust was on his feet in seconds, glaring at the therapist.  
“I don’t take kindly to pranks and hooligans in my practice!” The man huffed, glaring just as hard back at the demon before noticing the strange off putting eyes.  
“What exactly is the issue?” Faust was rather proud of how calm he kept his tone. Kellord started to speak, but the therapist bowled over him.  
“I treat real people with real problems! I don’t appreciate my valuable time being wasted on a delusional child with an overactive if disturbing imagination!”  
“Oh? I wasn’t asking you,” Faust managed to stop short of outright growling, turning to the boy. “What happened?”  
“Well, I was cautious with the last two for obvious reasons. This one started us off with a lovely ‘What could a child your age possibly need professional help with?’ So, I listed several of the worst contenders. Next thing I know, we’re back out here, being asked to leave.”  
“I see,” the demon nodded once before rounding on the therapist, unnatural sharp teeth barred and eyes glowing rings of acid green, “We _will_ be leaving. And I hope for your sake we never cross paths again.”  
They left the man floundering in his own waiting room while Faust snapped his fingers with an angry growl. Kellord raised a brow in question.  
“His entire wardrobe suddenly has a moth problem. Very inconvenient holes in very noticeable places on his very expensive suits.”  
“My, how devious,” the boy smirked, folding his hands behind his back as they walked down the block. Faust snorted, running a hand through his hair to calm himself.  
“Yeah, well, he was a rude git.”  
“Oh, absolutely. No argument there,” Kellord chuckled with a wide smirk. The demon took another block to calm himself enough to call another taxi to the last appointment for the day.

The fourth and final appointment went relatively well. Faust checked the wall clock in the waiting room when Kellord reappeared at the half hour mark, the demon raising his brow in silent question. The boy gave a small smile and a subtle thumbs up before they left the office.  
Meanwhile, Dr. Deirdre slowly closed her notepad and stood up. The 41 year old woman rubbed the bridge of her nose with a measured sigh before tucking a stray curl of her auburn hair behind an ear. She made her way over to her desk, opened the bottom drawer, and pulled out a large glass decanter of amber liquid.  
“I thought I’d heard it all,” she muttered darkly to herself as she tugged out the stopper and poured a measure into a glass. She paused, then kept pouring until it was full. “Blessed Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, that guy’s got a hell of a heart to deal with that shit.”

\-----

Aelisea glanced up from tapping a pencil against the table while she puzzled out a problem as the two boys walked in with a bag of amazing smelling takeout.  
“Ooh, what’s that? And I take it at least one looks promising?”  
“So far,” Kellord replied with a smirk, helping Faust pull out containers revealing tasty soba noodle dishes from the local Japanese eatery. The girl immediately abandoned her worksheet to swipe one of the containers.  
“Well? I’m all ears, let’s hear it!”  
Faust snorted and gave Kellord a ‘go on’ gesture, snagging a container for himself and perching on the kitchen counter. The boy let out a put upon sigh and settled into a chair.  
“The first was a vapid thing, easily apparent she’s only helped people with minor issues. The second, a useless narcissist. The third was a pompous windbag. However, my knight in devilish armor has already restored my wounded honor,” Kellord shot the demon a wink and a smirk. Aelisea rolled her eyes while Faust tried not to be obvious as he choked on his noodles.  
“However, the fourth seems promising,” the boy continued as if he hadn’t teased Faust. The girl hm’d before slurping up a bite of noodles.  
“How many more are you gonna see?”  
“Four more on the list, but - uh, if Kel’s happy with Dr. Deirdre, we can stop there,” the demon muttered, poking a bit of charred pork with a chopstick. Kellord popped open a smaller container and plucked out a crab rangoon.  
“Finishing my shopping around won’t hurt. I imagine I’ll have to talk to them for quite awhile, best check if I can stand them for that long.”  
“Fair enough,” Aelisea shrugged. Faust finished chewing and swallowed his bite before interjecting.  
“I’ll get ‘em booked right now,” the demon grinned with a snap of his free hand. Kellord snorted.  
“Isn’t that cheating?”  
“My main purpose is to cause mayhem and doubt. This is just a thinly veiled excuse to rack up some free points to toss on my next report,” Faust waved his hand dismissively, “And between the three of us, I’m only changing appointments of people who don’t really need them.”  
“How do you know?” Aelisea quirked a brow curiously.  
“Uh - dunno, just do.”  
“Likely some unique facet of miracles, hm?” Kellord murmured with amusement. Faust helplessly shrugged.  
“You’re not gonna like this answer, but most of us don’t question how it all works.”  
“Mm, at least you admit it.”  
“Pft,” Aelisea giggled before diving back into her late lunch with a gusto. They ate the rest of the takeout in comfortable quiet, aside of course George’s expectant caws until Faust shared one of his fish cakes with the demanding crow.

The kids spent the rest of the afternoon with schoolwork. While Faust didn’t keep them on any kind of real schedule, he did ask that they make an effort a couple hours a day. The demon was getting more confident with finding lessons and challenges that met the requirements of the homeschool program in Ireland without being too tedious and boring.  
Between basically self-led lessons and Aziraphale’s not-too-subtle suggestions at the bookstore, both children were quickly catching up on all their lost time. Aelisea was just grateful not to have to do it in a classroom. The only downside so far was Kellord having to accept that direct experimentation with chemistry was nearly impossible. For now. Faust was working on that. 

The next morning, Faust and Kellord left bright and early for the first appointment of the day. The boy left this therapist in such a state Faust could hear her retching into a trash can from behind two closed doors. The demon took a little pity on her and snapped the memory of Kellord’s troubles out of her mind as soon as they left the office.  
Just a bout of stomach trouble, that’s all.

The second went about the same as yesterday’s failures. Kellord walked out after only 15 minutes with the middle-aged male therapist hot on his heels.  
“Sir, your son refuses to finish the session!”  
“That’s his choice,” Faust replied calmly, standing from the waiting room chair. Kellord shot the demon a rueful smile. The therapist scoffed.  
“Soft parents like _you_ are why he’ll never get better,” he muttered darkly. Faust snorted and rolled his eyes before simply gesturing for the boy to lead their exit. He let the door slam unnecessarily hard behind them.  
“Surprised you didn’t get all snarly with this one,” Kellord teased as they walked the block.  
“Not worth the effort,” Faust shrugged, “And you didn’t have the hang-dog look like last time.”  
The boy visibly paused at that, halting on the sidewalk. The demon blinked and turned about to face the kid with a raised brow.  
“Ah - apologies, I’m still getting used to your… altruism,” Kellord forced out a chuckle as he smoothed down his ginger hair. Faust bit his lip.  
“Ghk - well, you know,” the demon helpfully replied. The boy chuckled again, this time with more actual mirth.  
“I’m starting to. Anyway, let's get these last two over with, hm?”

And ‘over with’ was about how Kellord felt about both of the final appointments. Walking out of the last therapist's office, the boy simply caught Faust’s eye and shook his head tiredly. The demon offered a helpless shrug before leading them both out to the curb.  
“No go?”  
“Mn, no. It seems yesterday’s winner is the overall best option,” Kellord sighed. Faust chuckled softly.  
“Don’t sound quite so down about it, Kel.”  
“Fellow humans are just tiring,” the boy murmured, leaning into the demon’s side. Faust reflexively wrapped an arm around his shoulders and snorted softly.  
“Well, I’ll give you a couple days to recover before making a real appointment with the doctor, alright?”  
“Mhm.”  
“You wanna head home?”  
“...please.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor therapists of Cork... I'm so, so sorry this boy needs one of you. And don't worry, the two arseholes will get some comeuppance later...
> 
> As always, thank you for reading and hope you enjoyed it!


	7. The Doctor is IN

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kellord goes to his first *real* appointment.

True to his word, Faust made a proper, non-miracled appointment with one Dr. Deirdre a week later. The morning of, Aelisea perched on the arm of the soft, cushy seat in the reading nook. Kellord flicked a glance at her from his book and quirked a brow.  
“May I help you?” the boy asked with a smirk.  
“You should probably get ready,” Aelisea teasingly plucked at the other’s sleeping shirt, “Don’t you have your thing today?”  
“Aah, yes. So I do,” Kellord sighed, closing his book before rising from the cushion with a stretch. The girl rolled her eyes. The boy pointedly ignored the gesture as he padded over to their shared chest-of-drawers with a soft hm.  
“Should I go for rebellious pre-teen? Or perhaps lean more towards proper?” Kellord mostly asked himself, holding up a black metal band shirt in one hand and a plain grey tee in the other. Aelisea snorted helpfully.  
“Whichever makes you more likely to actually talk to the woman.”  
The boy laughed. “Fair,” he murmured, picking the long-sleeved band shirt before heading for the bathroom.

When they arrived at the office at just half past 11, Faust held open the door and Kellord ushered himself inside.  
“Do you want me to come in with you?” The demon offered quietly, raising a brow. Kellord shook his head and smiled.  
“I think I’ll last the entire hour on my own.”  
“Up to you, I’ll be right out here,” Faust offered a mock salute just as Dr. Deirdre poked her head out of her office. She smiled warmly and gestured for Kellord to come inside.

“Welcome back,” she greeted, closing the door behind the boy. Kellord made a non-committal sound before he hopped up onto the soft dark leather couch placed against the far wall. The therapist took up her notebook and settled into an armchair set at an angle facing the couch.  
“So. During our introduction session, I feel you were trying to put me off,” Dr. Deirdre commented lightly, turning to a fresh page and taking out her pen.  
Kellord had the sense to at least look a little sheepish.  
“I do apologize for that, I was… tetchy. About selecting a therapist. I may have been purposely pushing a bit too hard.”  
“Understandable. You want someone that can handle your trauma. Not the best way to go about presenting it, however I could see your logic,” the therapist watched the kid make a few aborted facial expressions before settling on a shy smile. Her brows furrowed slightly as she sat back against her arm chair.  
“So, let’s start over. I’m Dr. Deirdre, or you may call me Dr. Dee for short.”  
“Kellord,” the boy played along, lip threatening to quirk into a smirk. The therapist let her own smile go a little crooked, adjusting her glasses habitually.  
“And what brings you to my office, Kellord? And I don’t mean the - aah - list you rattled off before. I mean why do _you_ want to be here?”  
Kellord bit his lip. “I… I’m not sure, to be honest. Mr. Faust and my sister are both adamant that you can ‘fix’ me. Whatever that entails,” the boy finally murmured, absently toying with his hands. Dr. Deirdre slowly set her pen down on her notebook and crossed her legs. She tutted softly until Kellord glanced up from his fiddling fingers.  
“I’m not here to ‘fix’ you,” she noticed Kellord’s twitch despite him trying not to show a reaction. She waited patiently, but when the boy wasn’t going to respond, she gently continued. “I’m here to be whatever you need me to be. If you want to work through your issues, we can do that. If you want to talk about the newest book or video game you just finished, we can do that too. We can talk about school, or your sister, or pets, or your friends.”  
“...Oh,” the boy blinked, chewing on his lip again. The therapist just smiled and sat back, waiting. Kellord finally let out a slow breath. “This… wasn’t what I was expecting.”  
“Most people don’t. I’ll admit, some therapists focus on tackling your issues and only things pertaining to your issues. I find giving the floor to you is more likely to do you any good. Plus, _you’re_ paying _me,_ so this,” she gestured to the room in general, “is all for you. Whatever you want it to be.”  
“I see,” Kellord tilted his head to the side, brows slightly furrowed.  
“Would it help if we started with some small talk?” Dr. Deirdre asked, taking up her pen again. The boy nodded slowly.

The next 30 minutes passed while Kellord methodically plodded through the usual niceties, basic information the boy figured the therapist might eventually need for her notes on him. He also off-handedly decided to add some of the normal things children gush about; favorite color, favorite food, favorite animal, favorite music - ect. He wasn’t sure if he really believed the answers he was giving, but he knew they were expected. Dr. Deirdre dutifully noted each one down as he rambled on. Finally, it fell to familial questions.  
“I already know from the intake paperwork that the gentleman in my waiting room is your adopted father. You mentioned a sister; biological or step?”  
“Aah - it's complicated,” Kellord delicately started, “But we have been together most of our lives thus far and Mr. Faust was gracious enough to adopt us together.”  
“Complicated is fine. Not all family has to be by blood,” the therapist commented, tapping her pen against the paper lightly, “How would you describe your relationship with your sister?”  
“Mn, what do you mean?” the boy tilted his head to the side. Deirdre gestured vaguely with one hand.  
“Do you agree on most things, disagree? That sort of thing.”  
“I suppose I’d say we get along as well as any pair of siblings. If we agreed on everything, it’d be quite boring,” Kellord chuckled. The therapist gave a little laugh of her own.  
“Fair! Fair,” the therapist managed once she stopped laughing, “And your adoptive father? How would you say your relationship is with him?”  
“I haven’t been in his custody quite long enough to form a lasting impression, however, he is… very patient. And so far, honest and kind.”  
“That’s quite the glowing review,” Deirdre smiled, jotting down more notes. Kellord shrugged.  
“Aren’t those basic parental requirements?”  
“One would think so,” the therapist murmured, her smile turning a bit tight. The boy tilted his head slightly again, but didn’t comment on the aside. “So, I assume you are taking the adoption situation well?”  
“It’s certainly been a welcome change,” Kellord cheekily retorted. Dr. Deirdre didn’t rise to the bait.  
“Any other family members?”  
That gave Kellord a bit of pause. What would the other demon and the angel be to him? To Faust? And the birds; pets or siblings? He chewed the thoughts a moment before formulating a response.  
“Sort of. Mr. Faust has several pet birds. And he has introduced myself and Aelisea to several friends. All adults. So far, I like to think of them as non-blood aunts and uncles.”  
“I see,” the therapist added to her notes, “and speaking of friends, how is the neighborhood? School? Made any friends yet yourselves?”  
“Haven’t done much exploring for similarly aged children in the local area yet. And Mr. Faust has opted to home school us at our request. I… do not tend to interact well with peers. Something about my demeanor isn’t inviting or some such. And, for some odd reason, I’ve a problem with strange authority figures.”  
“Nothing wrong with homeschooling, as long as you don’t fall behind on your levels. I imagine your father did his research? If he needs any reliable sources, I can point him in the right direction.”  
“Mn.”

The remaining time in the session was spent on similar mundane questions Kellord answered with slightly more cheek. However, Dr. Deirdre either didn’t notice or acknowledge his quips. Her notes spanned almost three entire pages, though. As the clock ticked just past the hour, the therapist calmly slid her notebook shut and offered a warm smile.  
“Well, Kellord, I’d say this went much better. What do you think?”  
“I suppose I’ll be back,” the boy teased with a wry smirk. Deirdre scoffed softly and smiled in return.  
“Would you like to come once a week? Once every two?” She asked as she stood and set her things aside before motioning for the door. Kellord hopped up off the couch and tried for a nonchalant shrug.  
“Not sure there’s much more inane information we could cover in an hour. Every two weeks?”  
“Sounds good.”

Faust jerked up and stood as the office door opened and a thoughtful Kellord padded out to the waiting room. The demon raised a brow and got a rueful smirk in silent reply.  
“Well?” Faust curiously asked.  
“She’s hard to crack. We’ll see how this goes.”  
“So you wanna come back?” Both demon’s brows shot up.  
“I believe I do,” Kellord chuckled. The boy relayed his agreement to return every two weeks just as Dr. Deirdre stepped out with a large print calendar in her hands. After penciling in a few appointments, Faust and Kellord left the therapist’s office.

Dr. Deirdre set the calendar down on her desk and let out a long sigh. She was glad she always spaced appointments to give herself a little breathing room, knowing her next client wouldn’t be there for at least 30 minutes gave the therapist time to glance over Kellord’s notes. She laughed softly to herself as she circled most of his answers and added large question marks to some.  
“I wonder,” she pondered aloud to the quiet office, “if the kid’s fully aware he might be showing some classic signs of antisocial personality disorder? Definitely some PTSD, self-deprecation, disassociation…”  
She added her thoughts and tentative diagnosis to the bottom of the last page of notes before tucking them away in a fresh folder.  
“Lord help that child. I’ll do my best from this end.”

“How did it go?” Aelisea teasingly demanded as soon as the boys got home. Kellord snorted softly.  
“Not at all like I expected, and yet,” he made a vague gesture, “predictable.”  
The girl rolled her eyes and sighed theatrically. “Don’t tell me you lied to the therapist!”  
“Only a little,” Kellord muttered, shrugging. Faust hid a choked laugh, turning away as Aelisea shot him a half-hearted glare.  
“I swear, Kel, you are a hot mess.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We are all Aelisea right now. Also, I hope this comes across in the spirit it was meant - I did so much research (including bugging my old therapist!) and no matter how many times I re-wrote the middle chunk it felt dry. So, thank you for bearing through and hope it didn't bore anyone too badly!
> 
> Thank you for reading! ~


	8. Routines

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All demons dislike cold weather, the angel is up to something, and kids are always down for free food.

Things soon fell into a sort of routine. Faust evenly split his time between keeping up his temptations and raising the two children as best he could. He packed his reports and made sure he got them sent off right on time to keep Head Office off his back. Not that he wasn’t usually a prompt demon, just now he had much more incentive to keep his superiors from directly contacting him.

The kids did a marvelous job catching up in their education deficiencies, passing all of the homeschooling benchmark testing with high marks. It helped immensely that both were naturally inquisitive while Faust did his best to find interesting and well made lessons for them. 

Kellord continued seeing Dr. Deirdre once every two weeks. She was growing on the boy, but he still wasn’t quite ready to really dig down into his real problems. They talked of books and his actual favored subjects rather than the falsified ones he gave her the first proper session. Aelisea ribbed him mercilessly that the boy could joke about his deep seeded issues just fine with her and a demon, but couldn’t to some therapist being paid to help him. He couldn’t quite explain himself either.

Months slipped by.

“When did Fall get here?” Aelisea grumbled one morning, padding back inside after feeding the geese and tossing her jacket over the back of a chair. Kellord chuckled.  
“About a week or two ago,” he murmured, smirking in the wake of her glare.  
“You know what I meant,” she rolled her eyes before stalking into the kitchen to make her own breakfast. The boy helpfully handed over the butter as he brought his emptied plate to the sink.  
“Do I?”  
“Goddamnit, Kel,” she had a fond tone that bellied the curse. He offered a cheeky grin before glancing toward the stairs.  
“Hm, has our demonic caretaker been heard from yet?”  
“Haven’t seen him,” Aelisea absently responded while she dropped two pieces of bread into the toaster.  
Kellord hm’d again.  
He tilted his head to the side before making his way up the stairs and stopping at Faust’s closed door. A wry smirk crossed his lips as he knocked once before cracking open the door.  
“Faust?” The boy called, flicking his gaze to the empty bed. Something shifted in the corner where a large pile of pillows made a nest of sorts. A low muffled whine followed. Kellord’s brow shot up.  
“Hm, is that a demon under there?” He teased, slipping further into the room with his hands tucked behind his back. A large, dark furred snout poked out of the pile. Kellord curiously tilted his head. Finally, a massive ruffled beast of a wolf reluctantly crawled out of his nest, yawning wide and stretching. The boy blinked once. The beast was easily larger and heavier than any living wild species of wolf one would find.  
“Well, I knew you said you could, but I suppose I didn’t think you would be so… big?”  
The creature let out a huff that sounded an awful lot like a laugh. Kellord smirked in return.  
“I’m awfully tempted to pet you.”  
Faust headbutted the kid’s hip, rumbling softly before striding the length of the room in a few steps. He nudged open the door and bounded down the stairs while Kellord followed with an amused grin.  
“The fuuu - heck?” Aelisea caught herself, eyeing the huge creature as it hopped up onto the couch and curled up on the leather with a grunt.  
“If I had to hazard a guess, Father appears stuck in his demon animal form,” the boy guessed, joining the wolf on the couch despite the cold shoulder upstairs. Faust didn’t protest.  
“Is there something we can do? Should we call the other two?” The girl leaned in the doorway and munched her buttered toast, watching her compatriot sink a hand into Faust’s thick fur. Kellord helpfully shrugged and dug his other hand in, scratching down the wolf’s back and earning a pleased rumble.  
“So damn helpful,” Aelisea rolled her eyes. She swiped the demon’s mobile from the side table where it’d been left. While Kellord continued to scratch and pet the massive wolf with a wry grin, she scrolled through and found the proper contact.

\-----

Aziraphale hummed pleasantly to himself as he dusted his bookshop’s shelves. He hadn’t had a customer all day and he rather hoped it stayed that way - he was looking forward to the early dinner Crowley intended at this new little Italian restaurant that just opened a few streets down. They boasted having a wild berry Semifreddo made from the owner’s great grandmother’s recipe, and the angel was positively salivating at the thought.

His train of distracted thought was rudely derailed as the shop phone rang loudly in the quiet shop.  
“A. Z. Fell and Company, how may I help you?”  
_“Mr. Fell? It’s Aelis. With Faust?”_  
“Oh!” the angel quickly snapped his fingers and the ‘Sorry, We’re Closed!’ sign flipped itself over, “What can I do for you, my dear girl? Is something wrong?”  
_“Err - well, um, sort of? Mr. Faust is sort of… stuck.”_  
“Stuck?” Aziraphale furrowed his brows, glancing up as the shop bell jingled. Crowley offered a little wave before shutting the door behind himself.  
“How so?” The angel directed to the phone. Crowley arched a brow and slid closer, listening in.  
_“Um, well, Kel went to go wake him and he’s a huge ass wolf. Kel’s… well, being Kel, and being real unhelpful.”_  
Aziraphale smiled slightly. Of course it would happen eventually; even poor Crowley succumbed occasionally. “Oh, not to worry, my dear girl. Just ask yes or no questions. He’s likely preferring his demonic form to his usual corporation because of the cold, you see.”  
There was a bit of muffled conversation on the other end. Crowley snorted softly.  
“‘Course he didn’t warn ‘em,” the Fallen sneered quietly. Aziraphale shot him a knowing look.  
“Oh, you mean how you so graciously warned _me_ the first time I ran across you sleeping as a 10 foot python?”  
“Ngk,” Crowley eloquently choked, turning away to hide his slight blushing. The angel huffed in victory just as the girl came back on the line.  
_“Aah, got it. Yeah, seems he’s just being childish about the cold front that rolled in. Sorry to be a bother, Mr. Fell.”_  
“No trouble at all!” Aziraphale quickly assured. Crowley abruptly turned back around and gesticulated wildly, making the angel frown in confusion. The demon rolled his eyes behind his sunglasses and held up his mobile, pointing at a certain contact. Aziraphale squinted at the screen.  
“Damnit, Angel, the party!” Crowley hissed.  
“Oh - oh! Right! My dear girl, are you still there?”  
_“Yeah?”_  
“I’ve just remembered, while I have you on the line, we meant to invite all of you to a small soiree here at my bookshop on All Hallow’s Eve. We thought it would be a nice get together with some of our other acquaintances.”  
_“To what..? Oh! Halloween. Right. Um,” Aelisea audibly turned away from the phone and hissed back to her side, “Kel! Do you wanna go to a Halloween party? At the Soho shop?”_  
Aziraphale couldn’t quite hear the actual answer, but the girl came back on with an exasperated sigh.  
_“Erm - sure! Do we need to - you know - bring anything?”_  
“Just yourselves, dear. Oh! And come in costume, of course,” the angel smiled warmly despite Aelisea not being able to see him. The conversation wrapped up with the usual pleasantries and yet another assurance that Faust was probably fine. 

As Aziraphale set the receiver in its cradle, Crowley snorted. “Should we have warned ‘em ‘bout the other guests?”  
“Oh, I don’t think that’s necessary. The poor thing’s already stressed enough, getting stuck in his damned form and all,” the angel waved off the demon’s concern. Crowley rolled his eyes again.  
“You’re such a bastard, Angel.”  
“Haven’t a clue what you mean, my dear.”

\-----

Aelisea let out a loud, pointed sigh as she tossed the mobile back onto the side table. Kellord offered her a silent curious look, but his hands didn’t leave the massive beast’s fur.  
“Hey. Dad,” Aelis rounded the couch and knelt right in front of the huge snout. Faust whined and cracked open one green-ringed eye. “We’re going to the angel’s shop on Halloween. I already said yes.”  
“Are we supposed to come in the proper garb?” Kellord asked, amusement coloring his tone.  
“Yep,” the girl nodded. The demonic wolf huffed.  
“Well, you’d have had a say if you could - you know - _talk.”_  
Kellord chuckled as Faust rolled his head upright and whined again, pawing at Aelisea’s knee. She snorted and backed up, crossing her arms.  
“Nope. We’re going. I don’t even care about Halloween, but you’re being even more childish than Kel right now, so you deserve this.”

As Faust was more or less out of commission until he bothered changing back, the kids took the day to be just as lazy as their caretaker. Aelisea took over the tellie with cartoons and joined the others on the couch in a big pile. Kellord thoroughly enjoyed feeding George popcorn by throwing it onto Faust’s head, laughing as the crow purposefully gave the wolf’s ear a passing nip on each pass.

Nothing productive got done all day.

However, the following morning, the incubus reluctantly returned to his humanoid corporation. With a few added layers of clothes, of course.  
“What do you usually do in the middle of winter?” Aelisea teased, prodding Faust in the chest. The demon grumbled and tugged on the hem of his black jumper.  
“Spend the lot of the season as a _not_ nearly hairless biped with shite heat retention,” he retorted, shoving his leather jacket on over the additional layers. Kellord broke into a laugh at the sight.  
“Yeah, yeah. Laugh it up. Make you write me a multi-page research paper on the driest subject I can think of,” Faust muttered darkly. Aelisea rolled her eyes.  
“Come on, Halloween’s only a month away and I wanna get this whole picking out a costume thing over with.”  
“Since when are you gung-ho over socializing?” Kellord retorted once he got himself back in order. Aelisea shot him a glare over her shoulder as the trio made their way to the curb. Faust fiddled with his mobile.  
“Since this one’s with Dad’s… coworkers? We’ll go with that. How much you wanna bet that fancy angel is gonna have the best spread of food?”  
“Mn, fair point,” the boy nodded sagely. The demon snorted and rolled his eyes at the exchange just as the cab pulled up.

The ride into Cork proper didn’t take too long. Locating a shop with costumes took less. Aelisea sneered at all the younger kid’s costume themes, gravitating toward the middle ground between those and the young adult section a row over.  
Faust wasn’t worried about what the girl might pick, however.  
“Hm, what ghoulish goblin or villainous bloke should I choose?” Kellord wondered aloud. The demon sighed pointedly.  
“I know, I know. Relatively age appropriate,” the boy chuckled quietly, perusing the bagged costumes on the racks. Aelisea joined them a minute later with a costume in hand, something stripey from what could be seen through the plastic. She crossed her arms and eyed Faust.  
“Why aren’t you looking?”  
“What? Why?” The demon scrunched his nose and furrowed his brows. Aelisea cocked an eyebrow.  
“Well, you’re dressing up too.”  
“Who said?” Faust meant to sound flippant but managed something more strained.  
“Why, Mr. Fell did. He said costumes are required,” she grinned as the demon fought not to whine in public. She glanced to the side and noticed Kellord wasn’t there. The demon whipped around.  
“Oh no, where’s he gone,” Faust groaned, covering his face.

“Not far.”  
Aelisea and Faust turned about to see the boy cheekily smirking and holding something behind his back. The demon narrowed his eyes.  
“What have you got, Kel?” His tone was barely a question. Kellord shrugged innocently.  
“Just helping you find a costume, that’s all,” the boy offered a disarming smile Faust didn’t buy for a second. Kellord chuckled as he caught the demon’s look and let his smile turn sheepish. “An admittedly selfish suggestion.”  
“Oh just show him, Kel! Quit being so damn theatrical,” Aelisea grumbled, rolling her eyes. The boy pulled the costume bag out and held it up. It took Faust a beat to realize the picture on the cardboard slip depicted a scantily clad male model in a stereotypical Chippendale “outfit” flexing.  
“Where in _heaven_ did you get that?!” The demon hissed, cheeks flaring up in embarrassment.  
“Adult section. Just over there,” Kellord easily replied, jerking his thumb in the vague direction. Aelisea fought between smacking her counterpart or laughing at her caretaker’s expense.  
“No! Not just no, but _hell no!_ ” Faust shooed the boy away, demanding he put the costume back. Aelisea broke into snorting giggles she valiantly tried to hide behind her hand.  
“Satan preserve me,” the demon muttered.

“What about this one?” Kellord held up another as he returned, failing to hide his amused grin. Faust choked at the sight of an obviously sexy version of his usual attire, plus a fake leather hat and a pair of fake wrist cuffs dangling from the kid’s finger.  
“I thought it would be preferable, since you like that jacket so much - ”  
“Just no,” the demon interrupted with a pained groan. Aelisea rolled her eyes and shook her head, still hiding her own grin. The boy shrugged and disappeared again.  
“Is he trying to discorporate me?”  
“Don’t look at me like I know what he’s thinking,” Aelisea snickered.

“No, nope, absolutely not!” Faust barely had to look at what Kellord brought back this time, spotting the fluffy faux white fur poking out of the costume package. The boy bit his lip to try and stop his amusement from showing too much.  
“Truly? But the irony of the wolf dressing as a prey animal - ”  
“I am _positive,_ ” the demon growled. Kellord wasn’t phased, however. Faust let out a long, loud sigh.  
“I will pick something out _myself_ if I have to, but you’re not getting me into _any_ of those sorts of things, ya little shite.”  
“Oh, very well,” the boy theatrically shrugged and turned to return the Playboy Bunny outfit to its rack. Aelisea shook her head, by now having collected herself from Kellord’s antics.  
“He’s just trying to get a rise. I’ll make him focus on his own costume; scoot. Go pick something before he thinks of another way to try and rile you,” she insisted, waving the embarrassed demon off.  
Faust followed her directions. While Aelisea policed her ‘brother’ into focusing, the demon perused the less adult adult costumes, frowning at the multitude of things he wouldn’t be caught dead in public wearing.  
“Ugh, humans and their bad puns,” Faust muttered darkly to himself as he kept walking down the aisle. His eye finally fell on yet another sacrilegious joke costume and he let out a sigh. Maybe he should lean into it. It’s not like the hosts of the party are going to get offended.

“Pick something yet?” Aelisea interrupted his train of thought. The two children had a costume each now, and glanced at the section the demon was perusing. Kellord’s lips curled into a smirk and he started to make a quip, but Aelisea was quick to intercept with a pointed elbow to the side.  
“Yeah, I might have an idea,” the demon managed, formulating a plan in his head, “Not buying it from here, though.”  
“Oh?” The girl had a quizzical look. Kellord snorted.  
“Yup. Anyway, let's get these, then, eh?”  
Aelisea didn’t question it; she - rightly - assumed the demon wasn’t going to give her ‘brother’ the satisfaction.

With one kid’s pirate queen costume and one stereotypical kid’s red devil costume complete with horns, tail, and pitchfork, the trio left the shop and headed home to the duplex.  
Kellord tried multiple times to weasel out what Faust had chosen, however the demon was tight lipped and thoroughly amused by the boy’s attempts.  
“You’ll find out when we get there,” Faust finally answered, smirking. Kellord pouted.  
“Serves you right, giving Dad so much shit,” Aelisea laughed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Something a little more lighthearted to break up the last two heavier chapters... And of course, the next bit shall be the party at the bookshop! Who could the mystery guest be?
> 
> Thank you for reading, and I love all comments!


	9. Soiree in Soho

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A pirate, a devil, and a priest walked into a bookshop...

Aziraphale bustled about his bookshop bright and early the morning of the little Halloween party he and Crowley had decided to have on a bit of a whim. The ‘Closed’ sign was flipped with a little extra note in the front window apologising for a private event. While technically the little soiree wouldn’t start until the afternoon, the angel would have been quite put out if his extensive decorations had been damaged by regular customers beforehand.  
And he had gone all out. Black and orange streamers hung from every bookcase and shelf. Lace doilies in the shape of spider’s webs replaced all of his usual coverings. Spooky knick knacks dotted the spaces between books throughout the entire shop. Candelabras and sconces had festive spooky motifs for the day. Several carved pumpkins with subtly miracled candles to stay lit quite a bit longer than they should have dotted the windowsills. 

As the morning ticked on toward noon, Aziraphale fussed with a large, extremely realistic giant spider sat up on a high shelf just as Crowley finally wandered down from upstairs. The demon gave a mighty yawn before searching out the angel.  
“Angel, really? You’ve moved that thing four times since last night,” Crowley grumbled, rubbing his eyes. The angel gave a little huff.  
“Well, it’s still not sitting quite right. I _finally_ got the bats to hang at just the right angle in the nook and the witch’s hat to sit on that stack of books all about folktales _just_ so,” Aziraphale lamented. Crowley rolled his eyes. The demon pointedly lifted his hand and snapped his fingers. The spider, previously tilted precariously to the left, sat perfectly balanced on the edge of the shelf to be seen from below.  
Aziraphale blushed faintly with a tinge of embarrassment. “I was trying to do most of the decorating the human way,” he muttered quietly. Crowley snorted.  
“And I’m the laziest demon around, here to foil those plans ‘cause the kids won’t notice and you’ll just fret yourself into a tizzy.”  
The angel shot him an imploring look. The demon sighed and rolled his eyes again before adding a hasty, “Yeah, yeah, the rest of it looks grand. Very well done. Tip top, blah blah.”  
Aziraphale’s expression brightened immediately. He didn’t seem to notice - or care - that the praise was a little facetious.  
“Now that that’s all well and good,” Crowley barely resisted the natural sneer at saying such descriptors, “shall I tempt you to a spot of brunch before we get all dolled up and the brats get here?”  
“Oh, I believe I could be tempted. Shall we go to the cafe across from St. James?” Aziraphale clapped his hands together while his demon snapped his clothes back in order, giving his jacket lapels a secondary cursory tug.  
“I s’pose, isn’t that where the nibbles are coming from?”  
“Of course! We should sample for quality before our guests arrive, you know.”  
“Right, right. ‘Course.”

\-----

Faust, Aelisea, and Kellord piled out of a taxi onto the curb in front of the bookshop later that same afternoon. Aelisea planted her hands on her hips in a pirate costume complete with a “tattered” black and white striped skirt and similarly striped leggings ending in cute brown boots. Faust might have miracled the impressive pirate hat larger than its purchase size and added a fluffy black feather.  
Kellord on the other hand, was in a bright red devil’s costume with matching red horns, a long thin pointed tail with a bit of bailing wire to make it poseable, and a plastic red and black pitchfork. Aelisea had graciously helped the boy spread a bit of red eye makeup on his eyelids and painted his nails black to enhance the look.  
“Alright, Dad. We’re literally on the doorstep. Costume up,” Aelisea demanded, eyeing the demon pointedly. Faust let out a put upon sigh.  
“Fine,” he grumbled, snapping his fingers. The demon’s usual punk rocker-esque clothes replaced themselves with a long dark grey overcoat with a long black stole, black button down shirt, and a white collar tab. His usual wild hair was smoothed back and his beard cleaned up.

He was the picture of an upstanding young Catholic priest. All he was missing was a tasteful cross necklace - for obvious reasons.

Kellord gave the demon a pointedly slow glance over with a raised brow before he grinned wide.  
“Oooh, I see why you wouldn’t tell me what you had planned.”  
“Because you’re an absolute ass,” Aelisea sighed, no real bite behind her tone. The boy chuckled.  
“What, you think I would be so crass as to dress as an alter boy - ”  
“Yes,” Faust and the girl snapped in unison. Kellord’s grin turned appropriately sheepish. Aelisea let him off the hook with a light playful punch to his arm as she passed by. She gave the front door a proper knock and waited patiently.

The bookshop’s door swung open with a little jingle from the bell. At first glance, Faust was startled by the sight of another angel. However, the demon quickly realized it was _Crowley_ dressed in a long, flowing cream-colored robe with gold trimmings. His actual wings were out and dusted with something that made the dark feathers shimmer like glitter - but hopefully less of a pain to clean up. His hair had been miracled long and fell to about mid back, and someone had pleated the left side and tucked gold threads into the braid. He’d even forgone his usual sunglasses for rose-tinted ones that complimented the gold makeup highlighting his snakey eyes and cheekbones.  
“Oy! Fausty and the kiddos are finally here!” Crowley called back into the din of the shop before stepping aside to gesture the lot inside with a gold bangled limb. Kellord and Aelisea popped inside, eyes roving over all the decorations with audible approval.  
“You look - er - good?” Faust murmured cautiously as the shop’s door shut behind him. The lesser demon couldn’t quite bring himself to stop staring just over Crowley’s shoulder.  
“And you look like a ponce,” the Fallen teasingly shot back, “Nah, looks bang on. Love the irony. Zira an’ I thought i'd be fun to play opposites.”  
As Crowley mentioned his other half, the angel made his way over to the two demons with a welcoming smile. Aziraphale was swathed in black robes, tattered at the hem as if burnt. His wings were out as well and covered in something that made them look ashen grey and dulled. His usually feathery blond locks were gelled back and up, forming two ‘horns’.  
“I can’t believe you just - they’re just _out!_ ” Faust stammered, gesturing loosely to the two other celestial beings. Aziraphale and Crowley shared a confused look.  
“What’s just out?”  
“Your bloody wings!”  
“Oh, not to worry, my dear boy. Everyone here knows,” the angel assured, patting Faust’s back jovially.  
“...Everyone?”  
As if summoned, a young boy with soft curly brown locks stepped around Aziraphale and eyed Faust up and down. He was costumed in a simple hooded robe his bright red sneakers peeked out from the hem and a plastic scythe; simple but classic. Faust’s eyes comically widened.  
“So this’s the other one, huh?” Adam Young jerked his thumb at the ‘priest’ before offering his free hand for a friendly shake. Faust hesitated until Crowley gave him a subtle nod.  
“S-sir, um, I didn’t - er - I mean - ”  
“It’s cool. Faust, right? Mr. Fell told me that’s what you go by. I’m Adam,” the Antichrist's assurance seemed to visibly calm the nervous demon. Or it could be some unintentioned exertion of his powers. Either way, Faust took the offered handshake and swallowed down his panic.  
“Would’ve thought you’d want nothing to do with us,” Faust murmured. Adam grinned.  
“What, and miss out on wicked parties like this? No thanks!” With that, the Antichrist gave Faust a thumbs up before bounding off. Aziraphale chuckled lightly at the glazed look on the lesser demon’s face.  
“I think it would be prudent to offer the poor thing an adult beverage before his brain melts out of his ears, hm?”  
“On it; you a wine or liquor kinda guy?” Crowley smirked, fingers at the ready.

Deeper in the shop, in a cleared space that definitely Wasn’t before this evening, Aelisea and Kellord found several other kids and a small, rat chasing mongrel of a dog sitting around on the floor with little paper plates of snacks (except the dog). Brian offered a little wave with his free hand while dressed in a broad black and white striped kid’s sized suit jacket and pants, his face splotchy with half-assed white makeup and dark purple circles around his eyes. His hair was hidden under a scraggly green wig that stuck out at every angle.  
“‘Ello,” he tried again after swallowing his big bite of a pastry. Pepper, dressed in an astronaut spacesuit sans helmet, and Wensleydale, sporting a bright purple wizard’s robe and hat with shiny silver moons and stars sewn on, glanced up and noticed the two new kids. The dog barely reacted save for a slightly raised ear.  
“Oy! Hey, you must be Aelisea and Kel - uh, Kellord?” The freckled dark-haired girl hopped up and offered a grin and a gesture to join them. Aelisea smiled back. Kellord tilted his head to the side but kept quiet.  
“Got it in one. Nice suit!”  
“Thanks! Made it myself,” Pepper proudly stated. Wensleydale adjusted his glasses and coughed lightly until he got his friend’s attention.  
“I’m Wensleydale. That’s Pepper and Brian’s the one stuffing himself silly. And this here’s Dog,” the smaller boy pointed to each in turn, taking over introductions. Neither of the ‘siblings’ questioned the name of the mutt; Faust had a crow named George for someone’s sake. Pepper rolled her eyes as soon as he was done.  
“Anyway, not sure where Adam’s gone off to, but in the meantime, you hungry?”  
“Starving.”  
“Great, food’s in here!” Pepper led the way into a small kitchenette before grandly gesturing to the platters, baskets, and plates of snacks covering the little island’s entire counter. Kellord shared a look with Aelisea before they grinned and loaded up. Cookies with little icing jack-o-lanterns. Pastries with red or green dyed sweet cream inside. Bat-shaped tarts. Cake balls frosted to look like eyeballs. Savory bits in spooky colored sauces. _Everything_ was Halloween themed and smelled delicious.  
“Mr. Fell went all out,” Pepper grinned, taking another pastry for herself. Kellord smirked and helped himself to a red eyed cakeball.  
“The angel’s the hedonistic one,” he muttered under his breath, amused. Aelisea gave him a warning nudge.  
“Oh good! Thanks for showing ‘em where the goods were, Pep!” Adam smiled wide as he stepped into the room. The astronaut saluted with a little flair.  
“Course. Hey, this is Adam, by the way.”  
“Wicked devil and pirate get ups,” the boy dressed as Death nodded approvingly. Kellord offered a nod.  
“Thanks, our dad spiffed them up,” Aelisea pointed at her hat with a boastful air. Pepper shot a confused look at the curly haired boy.  
“Wait, the demon’s their dad? I thought yours was the only one?” She scrunched her face as she puzzled the thought. Aelisea broke the weird tension with a laugh.  
“Oh! Pft, no, sorry. It's just easier to call him that. Mr. Faust is taking care of us. We’re orphans.”  
“So... he adopted you?”  
“More or less.”  
“And what do you mean by yours?” Kellord quietly added, quirking a brow.  
“Eh, family drama. Putting it painfully simply, I was the Antichrist,” Adam shrugged. At the duo of incredulous stares, Pepper jumped in and hastily summarized their version of events during the Apocawasn’t - as Brian had apparently coined it.

“Huh,” Aelisea managed when the other girl finished.  
“Mr. Faust told us a summary - though your version certainly has more… pizazz,” Kellord chuckled, leaning on his plastic pitchfork while he ate another pastry. Adam gave a tight lipped smile.  
“Ah! Here you are, I’ve got the punch ready!” Aziraphale popped in abruptly, holding a large pitcher of bright red liquid and his wings tucked in close to pass the doorway.  
Strange conversation seemingly forgotten, the kids crowded around the angel as he chuckled and handed out cups of sugary drink.

Drink and snacks in hand, they rejoined the rest of the other children in the cleared space. Dog happily perked up at seeing Adam and the boy plopped down beside the mutt. To Kellord’s surprise, he didn’t feel the urge to keep his distance from the rest. Though he did leave Aelisea to make most of the small talk. Faust finally turned up clutching a tumbler glass full of bourbon and nodding to his two of the bunch, followed closely by the angelic disguised Fallen.  
“Who’s up for some games, eh?” Crowley grinned and gestured toward a setup that had also most definitely Not Been a moment ago. Aelisea and Kellord shared a glance and a mutual eye roll. The Them, on the other hand, excitedly hopped up and crowded around the little carnival-like games.  
“Would be rude not to join in, I suppose,” Kellord murmured low to his pirate compatriot. Aelisea sighed with a nod.  
“What’s the prizes?” she asked cheekily as they joined the others. Crowley chuckled and winked.  
“Guess you’ll hafta win an’ find out.”

So they joined in. 

The lot bobbed for apples first. Brian was surprisingly good at it, though it did wash off some of his splotchy face paint. Kellord noted with some amusement that no matter how much the bin sloshed, not a drop hit the book shop floor.  
The following game was a team effort; Mummy Wrapping. One child was the mummy and their partner was the wrapper. Aelisea proudly won that one, having wrapped Kellord from ankles to head in record time.  
Adam and Wensleydale came in at a close second.  
Monster Charades was next. Pepper absolutely swept the floor with her horror and cryptid knowledge, even when Crowley pulled some obscure folklore monsters near the end.  
Wensleydale excelled at guessing the true contents of the Mystery Bags; little opaque drawstring sacks with a small object inside. The bespeckled boy got all but one right.  
And the last little carnival game was Murder in the Dark. A simple enough game where all the kids closed their eyes and either Crowley or Aziraphale chose someone to be the ‘Murderer’ and the rest had to guess who that someone was. Oh, and the Murderer could ‘kill’ other players by winking at them. The goal was to catch them before the Murderer won by killing more than half of the other players. Adam won that one by a nose.  
At the end of all the games, Aziraphale presented each of the children with their prizes; a massive, perfectly dipped fresh caramel apple. Each one was rolled in a different topping and the angel ensured everyone got their preferred treat.  
“How’s that for prizes?” Crowley smirked, brow raised in question. He got a chorus of muffled agreement and gratitude from six happily munching kids.

“Have fun, did you?” Faust murmured after padding over to his charges. Aelisea shot the priestly demon a grin.  
“Figured it’d be a snoozefest adult party we got some fancy meal out of; wasn’t expecting them to go all out for a kids’ party.”  
“With the Antichrist, no less,” Kellord added, slyly glancing in the direction of the other four children. Faust scratched at his beard nervously.  
“Yeah, that - that I wasn’t expecting,” the lesser demon muttered, tossing the rest of his current drink back with a grunt. Kellord chuckled.  
“Is it some sort of faux pas to socialize with your boss’ offspring?”  
“More like the kid disowned Satan himself so I was under the impression he wasn’t real thrilled with any of the rest of us demons. Made sense for those two,” Faust flicked two fingers at the other two celestial beings in the room, “They’re doing their own shit.”  
“You’re different, though, too,” Aelisea pointed out with a shrug, taking another bite of her caramel apple. Faust tried to hide his visible reaction. Kellord winked at the demon.  
“Don’t go saying that so loud, Aelis, you know how tetchy our dear Father gets.”  
“Don’t you start, you little shite - ” Faust cut himself off as Aziraphale siddled over with a slightly confused smile. “Nothing,” the lesser demon horribly lied.  
“Ah, of course. I was just checking in, my dear guests; it’s getting quite late and should you like to, we have accommodations,” the angel offered glibly. The incubus didn’t look surprised.  
“What, in the shop?” Aelisea furrowed her brows.  
“Of course!”  
“Laws of Physics mean nothing,” Kellord muttered under his breath, but certainly loud enough for his ‘sister’ to hear. She snorted. Faust, on the other hand, agreed and thanked the angel for the offer while pointedly ignoring the quip.

While the ‘accommodations’ were being set up - likely being snapped into existence and took no time at all - Crowley gathered everyone up and settled into the backroom with its appropriately moody candle lighting.  
“For the last bit,” the demon grandly gestured to the seated kids making his shadow dance around the room, “You can’t have a proper spooky holiday without some spooky stories right before beddie bye.”  
“Proper scary ones too.”  
“S’got witches? ‘Cause witches aren’t that scary anymore.”  
“Bet it's gonna have a murderer in it! Those are the best ones!”  
“Zombies _and_ murder!” The Them chorused almost in sync. Kellord and Aelisea exchanged another knowing look. Before either of them could make a comment, however, Aziraphale reappeared with a veritable pile of blankets and pillows.  
“Oh, wicked! A sleepover on the floor!” Pepper pumped her fist in excitement and grabbed a pillow and blanket for herself. The rest of the Them grinned and followed, making a sort of nest on the thick rug. Aziraphale handed over Aelisea’s and Kellord’s with a warm smile and a loose gesture to join in. The pirate clad girl did, settling near Brian with a friendly grin. Alternatively, Kellord took his borrowed bedclothes and stepped up to Faust where he’d claimed half of the couch.  
“Eh?” the demon looked up with a raised brow. The little red devil smirked and flopped straight into the demon’s lap. Faust scowled and grunted, but he didn’t dislodge the boy. Kellord triumphantly fluffed out his blanket and settled in. Crowley shot a glance their way but Faust shook his head, giving a slight shrug.  
“All settled? Good. Let’s see,” the Fallen grinned wide and despite his angelic costume still managed to cast a menacing air, “I’ll start with the tale of the Man with No Face.”

Crowley expertly spun spooky tales well into the night, until all of the kids drifted off to sleep. He grinned wide at Aziraphale while the room filled with soft snores.  
“Well done, my dearest,” the angel whispered, carefully stepping over the sleeping lumps to join his demon on the other end of the couch. They were careful not to wake the lesser demon and the boy curled up together, equally snoring away.  
“That went well, I think,” Crowley murmured low, pleased with the turn out. Aziraphale nodded as he tucked in his wings and gently removed the rose-tinted glasses from his husband.  
“Indeed. We should make a habit of it.”  
“Course,” Crowley agreed with ease, wrapping his arms loosely around the angel’s waist.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Took me longer than I hoped to write this chapter. The Them are an interesting bunch and it's very hard for me to write kids I'm not super familiar with, haha.
> 
> Hopefully still a fun romp; thanks for reading!
> 
> **Update: The next chapter is requiring a bit more of my time than I originally anticipated... And much more collaboration with the creator of 2 of the OCs I've been using. So Sorry! Hopefully it doesn't take me *too* much longer.


	10. Boy Needs a Hug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kellord finally entrusts some truths to the doctor...

“Good morning, doctor,” Kellord greeted as he stepped into Dr. Deirdre’s office a few days after the party. The woman shook her head with a slight smile.  
“What happened to ‘Dr. Dee’?” She gently teased, gathering up her notebook and pen before joining the boy at her session area. He smirked.  
“So, what have you been up to this week? Anything fun for Halloween?”  
“Yes, actually. We were invited to a party with our uncles and some other kids around our age,” Kellord gestured vaguely, forcing himself to relax into the soft leather of the couch. Deidre raised a brow and let out an impressed whistle.  
“And how did that go?” She prompted.  
“Arguably well. We had fun, did the whole costume and games bit, ate more than we probably should have.”  
“Sounds like a good party,” Deidre agreed, nodding and taking notes. Kellord smiled and nodded as well.  
“Aelis made friends. Exchanged email addresses and what not.”  
“And you?”  
“Mn, I didn’t offer, but if they contact her, I’m sure Aelis will forcibly include me.”  
“Do you not want to be friends with them?” Deirdre asked gently.  
“I believe they would not want to be friends with _me,_ ” the boy let loose a crooked, knowing smirk. The therapist glanced up at Kellord over the rim of her glasses.  
“Did you ask them?”  
“I didn’t need to,” the boy snorted, “I - admittedly - was not overly friendly. Polite, but not friendly.”  
Dr. Deirdre tapped her pen against her notebook. This kid had definitely opened up some since their first session, but he was by no means less of what she would call a combative client. Calling him out on this might regress him back to false responses and a wasted hour.  
“If that’s how you feel about it,” she finally responded, shrugging. Kellord watched her carefully.  
“Mn,” he finally answered, looking away toward the bookshelves, “I do. They may prove me wrong; perhaps I was not as standoffish as I assumed.”  
The therapist let out her breath, quickly jotting down her notes. Some mild progress. Less self-deprecating. Likely due to inclusion during the games they played, she surmised.  
“Anything else fun or exciting happen?” Deirdre steered the conversation gently. Kellord hm’d softly before he turned his gaze back to the therapist, loosely crossing his arms over his chest. 

He went quiet for a full minute.

“I - well,” he abruptly started, absently wetting his lip, “I have come to some conclusions. That is to say, my personal research has led me to believe that I should be… utilizing you properly.”  
“How so?” She prompted after a moment when it seemed the boy was done talking.  
“I should tell you. Everything - well, almost everything - relevant. And certainly not in the unhelpful format I used during our interview session. More chronological. Less disjointed buzzwords, you know.”  
“Some clients do find that getting things ‘off the chest,’ as they say, is helpful,” Dr. Deirdre offered. She flipped to a fresh page with her pen poised. “It would certainly help me frame your trauma, but again, only if you feel comfortable sharing with me.”  
“Comfort is a relative term,” Kellord muttered, mostly to himself. He scooted to the edge of the couch and bit his lip. “I… would like to ask Mr. Faust to join us.”  
“Of course!” The therapist quickly agreed with a reassuring smile. 

“Mr. Faust?”  
The demon in question jumped, fumbled his phone and shot a glance up at the doctor as she peered out into the waiting room.  
“Uh - er, yes? Something wrong?”  
“No, no. Heavens no; Kellord would like you to join us,” Deirdre gestured the human-shaped being into her office. Faust blinked. He only paused a second longer before hoisting himself up.  
“What’s up, kiddo?” the demon asked as he stepped into the room, hands loosely shoved into his jacket pockets. The boy looked up at Faust and nervously rubbed his hands together in his lap.  
“I only wanted to have to go through this once,” Kellord murmured with a soft nervous swallow, “So, if you’d be so kind as to… sit with me - while I - erm, while I spin my tale.”  
“Kel - ” the demon cut himself off and simply dropped onto the couch next to the boy and wrapped an arm loosely around his shoulders. He offered an encouraging quirked smirk that Kellord returned with a grateful look. Dr. Deirdre took her seat and rearranged her things, keeping her gaze off the two for a moment to let Kellord settle. She had to hide her expression with her notebook at how sweet the man was with the kid, considering.  
“Whenever you’re ready,” the therapist offered.

The boy spoke haltingly at first. He started with the earliest memories he could recall; a dark musty room thick with the cloying smell of incense to cover the worst and a haze of faceless people passing through the door. Clients, he was told at some point. He couldn’t remember how he came to be trapped in that room, he blamed the drugs his captors forced him to take to keep him complacent and that shot most of his memories to useless pieces. All he truly remembered was pain and fear dulled by constant dizziness and faint nausea.  
He recalled the day he escaped.   
The boy had managed to palm one of the knives from the ‘toy chest’ that was normally kept locked at the foot of the hopelessly broken bed. Blindly stabbing the first adult to come into the room, the boy made a run for it. Somehow, sheer luck landed him outside a dilapidated brick building in a seedy alleyway. Kellord was small enough to slip into a nearby dumpster, hold his breath, dive deep, and disappear into the filth.

Dr. Deidre gently interrupted here. “Do you need to take a moment?”  
“Hm?” Kellord furrowed his brow, confused. The therapist pointedly glanced down. Kellord shot a look at Faust and realized he was squeezing the demon’s hand so tightly his own knuckles had gone bone white.  
“Apologies,” the boy murmured, hurriedly releasing Faust’s hands from his death grip. The demon made a small sound in his throat and shifted to wrap his arm back around the boy’s shoulders, and offered his other hand, palm up.  
“It's all good, kiddo,” Faust whispered back. Kellord swallowed his next words and silently took the offered hand in both of his. He took a deep breath.  
“Alright. I’m - I’ll be fine. Let’s continue.”

After shaking his captors and suffering through the withdrawals from whatever cocktail of drugs they had forced him to take, Kellord managed to leave that particular city. The boy insinuated that he convinced someone to ‘trade’ to get him to the next city over. Once he ditched the ride, the boy ran into a fellow orphan and drifter - Aelisea. They bonded over a shared pilfered bit of food from a nearby restaurant’s trash. A half-eaten grease-crusted fried chicken tender, he recalled fondly.  
Together, they survived day to day picking through trash for anything edible, begging on the street during the day and hiding away behind dumpsters at night with what little they could scrounge for warmth. Kellord smirked and admitted he would take that part of his life back any day over _ever_ returning to the Room.  
They lived the homeless dream for about 4 or 5 months - neither were real clear on the exact time - before things took a decidedly bad turn.  
Both children had mutually agreed adults were usually bad news. That didn’t stop several shady looking men from cornering them in a darkened alleyway one evening. Despite attempting to rather violently protest, both were successfully taken against their will. The boy paused here and simply offered a disturbingly calm smile.

“I don’t believe I need to get into the gory details,” Kellord murmured, freeing one hand to lift his band shirt to reveal his heavily scarred stomach and chest. Dr. Deidre sucked in a breath. Faust frowned as he sympathetically winced. Despite having seen the majority himself, it was still hard to look at the extensive damage to the kid.  
“But most of these came from that time. I have more elsewhere.”  
“For what it's worth, I am sorry that happened to you,” the therapist offered. The boy shrugged.  
“Moving on.”

Kellord continued, making mention of purposefully taking more of the attentions from their kidnappers to spare Aelisea. He claimed he could handle the situations better. After enduring the abuse for about 6 months, based on their singular meal per day as they weren’t allowed any windows, an oddly cagey man offered to buy the two off the kidnappers.  
The boy quipped that not much thought was made before he and Aelisea were handed over to the odd man. And that was how they spent a year in a converted abandoned mineshaft deep in the Arizona desert. He briefly summarized that traumatic turn of events, carefully leaving out most of any certain celestial beings involved.

“And that’s… about it. Glossing over events heavily, of course,” Kellord sank back against the couch. Faust patted the boy’s clasped hand with his free one gently. Dr. Deirdre scribbled the last few notes before setting her pen down with a soft sigh.  
“To say you’ve been put through the ringer would be a grand understatement,” she started, adjusting her glasses, “And I _certainly_ won’t say I understand what you’ve been through, because I don’t.”  
Kellord whipped his head up at that. Deirdre offered a wan little smile.  
“I told you, I don’t lie to my clients. This does help me frame your history, and I will do some research on my own for helping you with this sort of trauma. I do hope the most recent situation was resolved with the proper channels?”  
“Yeah, yeah, all the right channels,” Faust assured, subtly snapping his fingers behind his back. The subject dropped. The boy shot the demon a knowing glance and a raised brow, but said nothing.  
The therapist didn’t seem to notice. They made their good byes and assurances of seeing her again in two weeks before leaving the office. 

Out on the curb, Faust turned to the boy.  
“Hey, you alright?”  
“Nm? Uh - yes,” Kellord hastily answered, running a shaky hand through his hair, “Yes. Will be, at least.”  
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I could go for something sweet and maybe a couple temptations over at the nearby park,” the demon gave a nonchalant shrug. The boy felt a smirk tug at his lips.  
“I _suppose_ I could join you.”

Dr. Deirdre settled back at her desk, pulled out the decanter from its hiding spot in the bottom drawer, and poured herself a healthy drink.  
“Got my work cut out for me, don’t I?” She asked the room in general. The room didn't reply.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A bit of a shorter chapter, buuuut the content was quite a bit heavier. This took me quite a bit longer to write and I had to kidnap a temporary beta to help decide how to even organize this without making it too detailed/heavy for y'all to read.
> 
> As always, hope you enjoyed learning about poor Kellord and Aelis' backstory, and hope you enjoyed!
> 
> ~*I loves me some comments*~


	11. Tis the Season

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> An encroaching winter season gives Faust ideas for the kids.

November slipped by and soon rolled into December, bringing with it a delightful surprise neither child had yet experienced; snow. The first few flakes had both glued to the window overlooking the back garden while Faust pouted and shivered on the couch under multiple blankets.  
“I wanna go play in it!” Aelisea grinned excitedly. Kellord smiled back indulgently.  
“It’s certainly lovely to look at, but I might be with Faust on staying inside.”  
A resounding agreeing caw answered from within the demon’s couch nest. George poked a beak out from a blanket fold and cawwed again, pointedly.  
“See? Even the bird thinks it's too cold to go out.”  
Faust chuckled. Aelisea grumbled and pouted, dropping her chin to rest on her crossed arms. The demon took some pity on her and snapped his fingers. A perfectly sized winter coat and matching dark grey boots appeared by the backdoor.  
“Knock yourself out,” Faust offered at her raised brow. Aelisea gave her ‘brother’ a smack on the arm before she grinned and dressed. The boy shook his head.  
“Enjoy getting wet. And cold. And possibly harassed by the girls.”  
“Maybe I’ll harass _them,_ ” she shot back, tugging on the first boot over her thick socks. Kellord rolled his eyes and joined Faust on the couch, smiling gratefully when the demon raised an arm to let the kid into the nest.

Aelisea, on the other hand, bounded straight outside. She grinned and jumped straight into a tallest pile of snow - only a few inches - and giggled. The noise attracted Nora and Leah out from the tall reeds around their pond. The geese honked questioningly. Aelisea offered them a grin.

Kellord snuggled close to Faust while careful not to squish George. The crow wriggled and repositioned until it was perched on the boy’s shoulder beneath the warmth of the wool.  
“Comfy?” Kellord chuckled. George trilled happily.  
“You sure you don’t want to join Aelis?” the demon cocked a brow. The boy shook his head.  
“Not a fan of the end result. Spent long enough having to sleep out in the rain, you know. Not a big leap to make assumptions.”  
“Sometimes risk is part of reward,” Faust teased with a sharp-toothed grin. Kellord rolled his eyes and stole the remote.  
“Mm, point, but still not interested,” the boy murmured blandly, changing the channel from the demon’s program to some cartoons. Faust barely protested.

A moment later, something thumped against the garden window. Kellord and Faust shared a glance before looking up over the back of the couch. Aelisea ran past, chased by three of the geese. Another snowball rocketed the other direction a beat later. Kellord snorted.  
“Seems your girls are learning bad habits.”  
“Pft, they know how to throw snow. Love shoving it down people’s coats, they do,” the demon retorted. The boy chuckled, turning back to the show just as Aelisea ran past the window chasing the geese back the other way.  
“How do you feel about holidays?” Faust asked randomly during the next commercial break.  
“Hm?”  
“Holidays. Like, uh, Christmas or the Jewish one. You don’t have to go outside for those.”  
Kellord raised an incredulous brow. “Haven’t had the pleasure.”  
“Would you want to?” The demon offered. The boy snorted.  
“Isn’t it a bit sacrilegious for you to celebrate the other side’s festivities?”  
Faust chuckled. “Oh, sure, ‘cause the humans went and moved it around to suit themselves. It's nowhere near when the guy was actually born anymore,” the demon waved a hand dismissively. The boy glanced Faust’s way inquisitively.  
“It's not strictly frowned upon. A perfect time to promote gluttony and pride and selfishness, really.”  
Kellord rolled his eyes. “Sounds like one making excuses.”  
“Still doesn’t answer my question. Do you want to celebrate one of ‘em? There’s presents involved. And sweets. And colorful lights - ”  
“I’ll ask Aelis, mn?” the boy finally relented, hiding his smirk as he pointedly turned up the television. 

Aelisea happily played outside long after lunchtime, not coming back in until she was close to collapsing from chasing the girls all over the garden. Kellord tutted as she threw the soggy boots to the floor and flopped onto a kitchen chair. Bits of slush fell off her jacket onto the tile with soft wet noises.  
“Well? Have fun?”  
“I did,” Aelis shot back with a defiant grin. The boy rolled his eyes and offered her a towel. She took it gratefully and brushed more of the slush off before she shucked the sodden jacket.  
“How would you feel about bothering to celebrate a wintery holiday?” Kellord broke the companionable silence. Aelisea offered a raised brow as she fished a piece of bread from the bag on the counter.  
“Eh? What brought this up?”  
“Faust asked,” the boy shrugged. She let out a soft snort.  
“I mean, he does know we don’t believe in Santa or any of that shit, right?”  
“I’m almost certain he does. It was likely due to our enjoyment of Halloween that he chose to ask.”  
“Mn, fair - “ Aelisea cut herself off as the toaster popped. She fished her snack out and slathered it in butter and jam before continuing, “Did you want to? Do a tree and all that?”  
“I could take or leave the tree. Honestly, could take or leave the entire idea. However, I suppose there is a rather small part of me that would like to replace our less savory memories of this season with something a bit more pleasant.”  
Aelisea stared at the boy for a long moment as she munched her toast. She finally shrugged, shoved the last bite into her mouth and dusted off her hands.  
“I’m down if you are, Kel.”  
Kellord loosed a small quirked smile. The girl shooed him off with an exaggerated double hand flail.

“Aelisea and I talked it over,” the boy flopped onto the couch next to the demon with a smirk. Faust jerked up, nearly sloshing his can of beer but saved it with a quick snap.  
“You did? What’d you decide?”  
“Mm, we’d like to do something in the spirit of the holidays. Indoors, would be my preference. Perhaps something low-key.”  
“I can work with that,” Faust assured, sitting up straighter on the couch. Kellord chuckled.  
“Don’t go out of your way on our account,” the boy murmured with a smirk.  
“I will go out of my way if it suits me,” the demon snorted, taking a sip of his drink, “Right after this show.”  
“This show?” Kellord gestured to the TV with a restrained look of amusement, “It’s infomercials. All day. Even the same ones played ad nauseum each hour.”  
“Don’t judge me.”  
“Oh, I’m judging you, Faust.”  
“Fiiiine. Don’t get into too much trouble. I’ve gotta gather up a few things if we’re really doing this,” the demon sighed theatrically, snapping his beer into non-existence as he peeled himself out of his nest. Kellord crossed a hand over his heart.  
“I’ll strive to do my best not to burn the house down in your absence.”

The demon grabbed his jacket and muttered something about Kellord being a little shite before he slipped out into the cold afternoon. Aelisea snorted and glanced up as the boy passed by her.  
“What’d you do?”  
“Gave Faust shit over his show choices.”  
“Pft,” She laughed, giving the other child a playful push. “You’re such a brat!”  
Kellord simply smirked.   
“And since you’re such a brat, I’m taking this,” Aelisea swiped the remote from her brother. He didn’t exactly protest.  
“Mn, very well. I’ve got some research to do regardless. I’ll be upstairs.”  
The girl waved him off with her free hand as she took over the couch. George cawwed hopefully and got a couple pats in return.

Aelisea just got comfortable nestled in Faust’s thick blanket nest when the doorbell rang. She sighed heavily. Kellord had already gone upstairs so she was, unfortunately, the closest. Grumbling as she got up, she missed the warning look George shot toward the door just as she pulled it open.  
“Hello, little one,” a vaguely familiar humanoid creature purred, his red eyes flicking up from underneath the greasy fringe of hair. The girl’s eyes widened in recognition.

“Well? Aren’t you going to invite me in?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh look! I'm still alive. Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy in these trying times.
> 
> Thank you for reading!


	12. Unpredictable Bosses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What could _possibly_ go wrong with a visit from your boss?

Faust hummed to himself as he walked up the block back to his duplex. He had several plastic sacks in one hand and a larger bag full of packages slung over his shoulder. Faust had a vague idea of what he was planning - the kids wanted something chill, after all - but this was a decent starting point. He may have also had a quick conversation over mobile with another certain demon back in London on secular decorations. Better safe than sorry and Faust didn’t want to go getting pointlessly burned by a stupid plastic ornament.

He nonchalantly swung open the front door, bustling in all the loot with a grin.  
“M’ back!” the demon called out, curious when he didn’t get a reply. He shrugged. Likely distracted playing games or watching telly, he figured. Wandering into the den, Faust stopped short.   
“Faust,” the greasy red-eyed demon greeted from his perch on the couch, one clawed hand holding a struggling George while his other pinched the poor crow’s beak shut. The incubus felt his soul trying to crawl out of his corporation.  
“B-boss!” He squeaked, dropping his packages to the carpet. Something cracked.

Why was the demon Valac on _Earth_ of all places?!

“Don’t look so surprised,” the other demonic entity groused, “Now, call off your feathery brat. He tried to peck out my eyes before I caught him.”  
Faust mutely gestured, sending the crow into a sudden deep sleep. The red-eyed demon dropped the bird nonchalantly onto the back of the couch to sleep off the demonic miracle. Faust was just grateful Valac bothered to be thoughtful enough to not destroy the poor thing. Reviving George would have been a real pain.  
“Now that that little trifle is out of the way, on to business. I’ve gone through all the trouble and corporated so we could have a little face-to-face chat, Incubus Faust. Have a seat.”  
It wasn’t an offer. Faust dropped onto the other end of the couch like a dead weight. He shot a worried glance toward the stairs, but kept himself from saying anything. If his boss hadn’t noticed the kids, then they were probably still safe.  
“I received a worrying report recently that you’ve been seen in the human city of London. You know bad and well that’s off-limits since… the _incident_...” Valac shot a look over his shoulder as if someone from upper management might materialize behind him at the mere mention, “Not to mention who you might’ve run into there.”  
“What? Wh-Who - I wasn’t, err - well, I mean,” Faust struggled to think of an excuse. Any excuse. His superior left him stuttering a moment longer before rolling his red eyes.  
“Take a breath, Faust. Your corporation’s going to faint.”  
The incubus’ jaw snapped shut with an audible click.  
“Much better. Now, before you start panicking all over again, I couldn’t care less if you _did_ run into that particular pair or not. You’re still in one piece, so I assume you didn’t do anything too drastic. And this bit is just between us; I wrote off that I sanctioned your last two little visits. Don’t make me regret that.”  
Faust swallowed thickly and could only meekly nod.  
“I’ll also assume the two nippers upstairs have something to do with things as well?”  
The incubus flinched.   
Valac chuckled. “You’re too obvious. Don’t worry though, I haven’t done anything to the little muppets. Just made them forget I was here for the moment.”  
“I - uhm… ‘preciate it,” Faust managed, swallowing again as he forced down his rising panic. Valac allowed a small, crooked smirk.  
“You’ve never given much effort into corrupting the youth before, I might as well encourage this sudden desire to go below and beyond.”  
The incubus choked and fought to stifle his coughs. “S-sure. Yeah. Corrupting.”  
“Corrupting,” Valac agreed, carefully holding Faust’s eye, “Perfectly by the book temptation. Just add a bit to each of your reports going forward concerning the scamps. Anything they’ve been tempted into wrong-doing. A completely. Normal. Demon. Task.”  
The green-eyed demon blinked. Was Valac… giving him a perfectly valid excuse for keeping the kids? Was he _being nice?_  
“Have I made myself perfectly crystal clear, Incubus Faust?”  
“I - yeah. Clear as glass, sir,” Faust nodded once. Valac sneered.  
“Good. Well, bad. Oh, you know what I mean. And do try to give me a heads up if you’re planning on skirting forbidden territory again. Saves us both the headache, yeah?”  
“‘Course. Yeah. A heads up. You got it, boss.”

The rest of Valac’s impromptu visit went by in a blur. There was an assignment, Faust vaguely recalled, he would get the paperwork soon enough to verify and carry it out. Then the red-eyed, greasy demon was sauntering back to Head Office with a sneer and a half-hearted wave.  
Faust ran a shaking hand through his shaggy locks. That had been close. Too close. He was hellishly lucky, he was. Or blessedly cursed. He couldn’t choose at the moment. 

The front door shut with a soft click.

“Ah, you’ve returned. Successful I hope - oh dear, why the long face, Faust?” Kellord appeared at the foot of the stairs, eyeing the shell-shocked demon with a raised brow.  
“Eh, s’nothing,” Faust quickly assured, rubbing his face, “Just had a weird thought, s’all.”  
“Mhm,” the boy remained thoroughly unconvinced. Kellord glanced behind the demon and spotted the groggily waking George. The crow gave a shudder and a shake of his head before letting out an indignant caw directed at Faust. The demon winced and shook his head slightly.  
“Not now.”  
Another furious caw.  
“No, later.”  
“He seems a touch upset,” Kellord needlessly pointed out with a slight smirk. Faust rolled his eyes.  
“You noticed that, did you?” he quipped.  
George let out another distinctly annoyed sound before taking off toward the kitchen. The demon sighed.  
“I’m gonna have to bust out the really good scotch before he’ll forgive me.”  
“What in the world did you do?”  
Faust bit his lip. He shot a glance at the boy and let out a long sigh. “Truth?”  
“A very entertaining lie would suffice,” Kellord shrugged, leaning against the banister. The demon rolled his eyes again.  
“My boss was here. Not but a few minutes ago. Physically. Not - he wasn’t just in the telly or the radio.”  
The boy cocked his head slightly, seemingly unaffected. Faust caught the white knuckle grip on the wood, however. “Oh?”  
“Yeah. And George did his job, he did. But my boss isn’t exactly easily warded off. Caught the poor thing, thought he’d discorporate him. Seems he was in a forgiving mood today.”  
“Strange neither Aelis nor myself heard him,” Kellord added cautiously. Faust snorted.  
“When Celestial Beings want to, we can alter your perception of a great many things. He just made you both forget he was here.”  
“That’s… mildly disconcerting,” the boy pursed his lips before narrowing his eyes at the demon, “Has anyone else done that to us?”  
“What? No! Not that I’ve noticed. The two back in London only use it with the general populace who don’t know they’re… well. Them,” Faust was quick to explain.  
“Mn, fair enough,” Kellord allowed. He carefully pried his hand from the wood and tucked both behind his back before flashing the incubus a crooked smirk. “Well, I assume our wickedness pleased your boss since we’re not discussing our removal or some such.”  
“I’m… still not entirely sure where he stands on that. To be honest, I’m still reeling,” Faust rubbed the bridge of his nose as he stepped over the packages still strewn on the floor, “I think he gave me an excuse to keep you both? Something about doing proper demon’s work…”  
“Oh dear, a bit contradictory to the Angel’s direct requests, hm?” Kellord teased, following the demon into the kitchen. George puffed up and made a low, annoyed sound directed at Faust from the top of the refrigerator.   
“I mean, only if I actually tried,” Faust grumbled, reaching into a cabinet. He fished around a moment before pulling out a dusty bottle of Bushmills. He flashed the prominent 21 on the label in the crow’s direction. George huffed and hopped to the edge of his perch, waiting. The boy chuckled.  
“Restorting to bribery?”  
“Apology bribery,” Faust corrected as he pulled the cork and poured a generous helping into a glass. The crow took off and swooped down on the drink a second later.   
“Ah, is that acceptance?”

“Hope so.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh hi. Felt bad leaving on a cliffhanger (even if it was a really good one XD) so here's a smaller chapter to wrap that little fun bit up while I continue to struggle to add more to this story... 
> 
> I am hopeful I won't have to abandon this - I just may be very, very slow with updates. Sorry! Please continue to enjoy what I've managed to post~


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